Not Every Beginning Is As Happy As It's Ending
by Esmefan1
Summary: Bella is bulimic. She goes to Forks for two weeks where she meets a green eyed boy. Can he help her? Can he be the one to bring her out of her depression? And, how does love fit into all of this? Rated T for Depression and Bulimia. All Human. Slight OOC.
1. Forks

My stomach turned and ached. Nothing happened. I stuck my finger back in to my mouth. I put it down my throat until I started gagging. Still nothing came out. My insides twisted and turned. This can't be happening. I have to lose 5 pounds. I have got to throw up last nights dinner. My throat felt dry and my stomach ached. I need to be skinny. I need to be fit. Because no one can love a fat person. I put my finger down my throat once more, then out came fried chicken.

* * *

One year later. Forks, Washington.

"Bella! Look at how much older you've gotten." Charlie yelled as he hugged me. I bet Renee called him and reminded him to not say certain things around me. "Yeah I guess." I sighed as he put me down. First day in Forks is already looking dull. My mom, Renee, just got married and so I'm staying with my dad while she is on her honeymoon.

I'm seventeen, so why can't I stay at home by myself? My mom is paranoid, that's why. There has been three cases of break-ins in my neighborhood in the last four months and my mom goes crazy, or at least that's the reason we are telling people. The real reason is, my mom doesn't trust me to be by myself. Quite frankly, I don't trust myself either. So I'm staying with my dad for two weeks. In Forks. Wet, muddy, cloudy, Forks.

I think the one and only highlight of this is that I get to see Angela. I used to come spend two weeks here almost every summer until I turned 15. Angela became one of my best friends. I haven't been to Forks in two years, but we have kept in touch. She visited me a couple of months ago when I first started recovering from my bulimia.

Charlie and I drove back to his house in his cruiser. Charlie is chief of police here in the small town of Forks. "So, honey, Jacob wants you to come over tomorrow." Charlie said, breaking the silence. "Oh? Cool. I think I'll go." Jake was also a good friend. I was always a little hesitant about hanging out with him though, because I guess he has a crush on me or something. His sister Rachel told me that when I was 13.

When we got to the house Charlie helped my get my bags, all one and a half of them, up to my room. He then let me get settled and left. I laid on the bed for awhile until I heard a knock at the front door. I looked out the window and saw a Volvo in the drive way.

I walked down stairs and heard Charlie talking to someone. "Yes. Alrighty. Well, I will go to the hospital then." Charlie said getting his jacket and badge from the counter. I peeked around the wall that separated the stairs from the front wall.

I saw two men standing at the doorway. One was very beautiful and looked to be about 30 years old. He had blonde hair and his skin was perfect. The other was even more beautiful with his bronze hair in a tangled mess. His eyes were a bright green and he looked about my age. His eyes were amazing, yet they looked pained. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on.

"Thank you again Dr. Carlisle for coming over. I will have one of the female officers talk to her if that's alright." Charlie said. "Bella!" He called for me. I took one step so he could see me. I was very aware of the pair of green eyes on my face as soon as I was in view. "Oh Bella. I have to go take care of some stuff. Will you be okay for dinner while I'm gone?" Charlie asked with nervous eyes. Charlie was afraid I might do something. I nodded my head not once looking at the eyes staring at me. "Okay well thank you men." He said as they turned to leave with Charlie following them.

Who was that? Why had I not seen him two years ago? Was he new here? So many questions were flying through my head. Finally I decided to call Angela and ask her over. About an hour later Angela and I were sitting in the living room catching up on what had happened since the last time we talked.

I found out that Ang has a boyfriend who happens to be Eric Yorkie. That reminded me about the strange boy I saw earlier. "Ang, do you know a Dr. Carlisle?"

"Oh yeah. Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Why do you ask?" Good maybe she could tell me about the green eyed boy. "Well he was over a little bit before I called you. He and this guy about our age. Charlie was talking to him."

"Oh really? Weird. Something must have happened at the hospital." and with that she fell quiet. Angela wasn't really the type to gossip. I think that's the reason we get along so well. "Yeah I guess."

"Bella, I don't want to pry or anything, but how is _it_ going?" Ang said in a quiet voice. I took a deep breath. "I don't know. I still do it sometimes. When I over eat." I sighed. "You'll get better Bella. I know you will. Maybe it will do you some good to be in Forks for a while." She said with a smile. "Yeah." I doubt it. Nothing can help me.

*****

After Angela and I talked for a while she took me to the police station. I realized that Renee gave Charlie my medication so I had to get it. I needed to take it about now. Well, one of the officers said he was at the hospital and offered to drive me there.

I found Charlie with Dr. Carlisle. "Charlie are you going to take care of this? I mean, I'm trying to hold back Emmett from kicking the living day lights out of the guy who did this but he is very determined." The doctor said with a sad look in his eyes. Charlie put his hand of the doctors shoulder.

"Carlisle I promise. We will get this guy." Dr. Carlisle nodded and entered a room. I walked up to Charlie. "Hey Dad, um, you have my medicine?" Charlie didn't really look at me. His face looked thought full. "Huh? What?"

"Dad, do you have my medicine?" He nodded. "Oh yeah, yeah." He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a little bottle. "Thanks." My depression medicine. I put one pill in my mouth and swallowed. "Charlie!" A short girl called. She looked like a pixy, jumping over to us. "Alice. Hey." Charlie said hugging the small girl. She had to be my age, if not older. "When can she go home?" Alice asked. She still had a smile on her face, but her eyes were sad. Then I realized that not only her eyes were like that. It was also my fathers, and the doctors eyes. And also the boy who I did not know the name of. The green eyed boy.

"Alice I don't know. If your father says it's okay then, yes I suppose she can." The girls smile got a little bigger. Then she turned on her heels and walked back into the room that the doctor had gone through earlier. Then I heard my father murmur to himself, "Stupid adolescent boys. Why cant they just keep it to being a peeping tom. It's gone too far." That's when I pieced it together.

The green eyed boy must be Dr. Carlisle's son. And Alice must be his daughter. And this unknown girl that they are talking about must be his other daughter. This girl, who I did not know the name of, must have be raped, or something of the like. Suddenly my heart sank for her. "Bella, go back home and get some sleep." Charlie said sighing. I nodded and turned around and left.

That night it took me forever to fall asleep. When ever I closed my eyes I would see those green eyes. And when I finally fell asleep, those eyes followed me into my dreams.

**A/N Hey! I hope you liked it. Just a little info, yes, the Cullen's are human. Yes Rosalie was raped. And Bella really is not fat. She is about 125 pounds. Anywho, I will try to get the next chapter up soon. Thanks for reading and please review! **

**-Esmefan1-Elissa.**


	2. Doctor Doctor

"Bella are you okay?" Charlie asked from the closed door. "Go away Charlie!" I yelled at him. I don't have to do it; I don't have to do it! All I want right now is to go in the bathroom and puke. All I could think about was how much I ate last night, the extra dollop of mash potatoes; all that whole piece steak! I ate so much. I ate too much. "I'm going to call Angela." Charlie said before I heard his footsteps as he rushed down the hallway.

Hopefully Angela can help. But I doubt she can. No one can help me.

_No! Don't think like that Bella! _I order myself. _Just wait 'til Angela gets here!_ But even as I told myself these things, I knew it was hopeless.

Not ten minutes later Angela was knocking at my door. "Come in." I said sounding hoarse even to my own ears. She opened the door, her face full of worry and sat down gingerly next to me on my bed.

"What's wrong Bella? You got Charlie worried half to death." She said with a sad look in her eyes. "Ang, I can't do this. I'm not strong enough." I explained desperately. "I will never be strong enough. I have to go to the bathroom. I have to go now!" I said standing up. But Angela was quick, she was up in front of me the second I moved; blocking my bedroom door; she put a hand on my arm.

"Oh no you don't. You don't have to go pee and therefore you do not have to go in that bathroom." Angela said pulling me back down on the bed.

"But Angela I _have _to. I'm not good enough." I said, dropping my gaze to my lap. "My mom called me. She said that after the honeymoon they were going to visit his parents. They said they were going to be gone another two weeks. Angela my mom doesn't want me any more." My stomach giving another lurch as I said the words. "What if it's because I'm too fat?"

My head was spinning. Somewhere deep in me, I knew I was acting crazy. I knew my mom didn't care what I looked like and that she would always want me around. But there was the other part, the one that said I'm not good enough the way I am. And that part was much bigger than the other.

"Bella sit down. Your fine. You know your mom wants you back." She said in her delicate voice. I closed my eyes and nodded I knew I needed to calm down. My thoughts were steadily spiraling downward. I took in a deep breath and let it out and tried to let my stomach calm some. And it worked, for a little bit.

Ang stayed at the house a few hours after my melt down. I think she was afraid to leave me alone; I honestly couldn't blame her. Because even though she didn't want to leave, she couldn't stay forever; and after her mom called her cell, asking her to come home to watch the twins, she had to leave. I watched from my window as Angela made her way to her little neon. _I'm sorry Ang. _I thought as I ran to the bathroom.

**

"Dad, tell me again why I'm going to the hospital with you?" I asked my dad as we walked in the two front doors of Forks Hospital. "Because, Bella, if your going to be here for a month then I can't have you staying at the house all day. You're volunteering here at the hospital." He said, steadily not looking in my direction. I sighed. Right. In other words, 'Bella I can't leave you alone in fear you're gonna die.' Great.

We walked down a series of hallways, all were painted white with a pale blue railing about the same height as my hip. Finally we turned down one hall where we met Dr. Cullen. "Oh Charlie good to see you. Is this my new employee?" He smiled. "Not quite. She's not getting paid." Charlie and the doctor laugh shortly.

"Yes well I'm all ways happy to meet new people. Hello Bella, I'm Carlisle Cullen." I shook his hand still marveling at the mans good looks and said hello back. "Well, I'll leave you two to sort things out." Charlie said before giving my arm a comforting pat and walking back the way we came. "Bella, I have to do my rounds, but how about I get Edward to help you out?" Carlisle said checking his wrist watch.

I nodded. Carlisle smiled kindly and we made our way down the hallway and around the corner; where I saw the young man who was at my house a few days ago. He was kneeling down to be at eye level with a young girl who looked to be about six.

She girl clearly had some form of cancer, her hair was very thin and skin very pale, almost as white as the paint on the walls, yet she was laughing.

I saw the look in Edward's green eyes as he tickled the small girl. His eyes looked happy, but more of a sad happy. Like he was happy in this very moment, but sad about would come later.

I knew just what that felt like.

"Oh Eddie! Eddie please come have lunch with me today!" The little girl asked. "I would love to Jenny, but I have other kids to see. I'll have dinner with you tonight ok? Just you and me." He said with a wink. Jenny giggled a wide smile lighting her face and nodded.

Carlisle turned to me. "Edward over sees the all the cancer patients. Just because we are a small town, doesn't mean there's small pain." He said, looking rather sad as he did.

We walked up to Edward as he stood. He waved to the girl and a older woman, who looked to be her mother, as they walked down the hallway.

"Edward. This is Bella, who I told you about." Carlisle said introducing me. "Oh yea. Hey, I'm Edward." He offered his hand and I shook it. "I have to do my rounds now. How about you show Bella some of the patients." Carlisle said. Edward nodded and Carlisle turned to me, "I'm sorry I have to leave you on your first day, but Edward will take good care of you. If you have any questions he can answer them." He said and I nodded. Carlisle smiled before he walk off in the opposite direction.

"Well, I have to go see Suzie now. She's a four year old girl with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, also know as ALL. We spotted it almost as soon as she got it, so she should be fine." He finished talking as soon as we entered a room.

I followed behind him into a small room with pale blue walls, a bed on one wall with a table next to it and a comfortable looking chair next to the bed, where a woman probably in her early 30s was sitting, reading a book. A small girl was sitting on a bed coloring in a coloring book. "Hi Suzie."

As soon as the little girl heard his voice her head shot up and she beamed a brilliant smile. "Eddie!" She screeched. He walked over to her and she gave him a big hug.

"And how are we doing to day?" He asked. "Ugh I'm bored." The little girl groaned. "Bored? With me here? I'm hurt, really." That made Suzie laugh.

"Suzie is doing just fine. Your father says she might get to go home next month." The woman sitting in the chair said with a smile. I'm guessing it's her mother.

"That's great news. I'm glad to hear it."

**

Over the next few hours we did this. We went to child to child. I was surprised at how many children had something wrong with them. Edward informed me that some of them had actually moved here to have Dr. Carlisle as their doctor.

It was right after meeting a little boy named Donivan, while Edward was filing some paperwork about the boys progress that he asked me:

"So what brings you to Forks." He asked after putting the yellow folder with Donivan's name on it back into a filing cabinet. "You live in Phoenix right?" He leaned against the side of the counter where a nurse who looked to be about 50 was sitting, typing something onto the computer in front of her. Over the past two hours I had learned her name to be Martha.

"Yeah, I live there with my mom." I replied. "But she got married two days ago, and she didn't want to leave me all by myself while she and Phil went to Paris for their honeymoon." I explained, glad that I didn't have to come up with believable excuse. Besides, it was true.

Edward nodded, though his eyes seemed to pierce into mine; as though he knew he there in was something I was hiding. But if he knew anything, he didn't indicate anything. "And how are you liking Forks? Have you ever been here before?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I used to come down here every summer. But for the past two years, other things have come up and I just haven't gotten the chance." I said, I had actually missed coming up here. Even if Forks was boring and dad was not the most out going person, I still had missed him.

But now I got the chance to ask Edward the first question that popped into my head with I first saw him. "What about you? How long have you been here? I don't remember ever seeing you."

Edward smiled.

"Yeah, we moved almost two years ago." I nodded. That would explain it. Because I think I would have remembered meeting Edward. "So do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, there is Alice, she also works here, but she is in a different wing. You'll like her. She is really hyper, but very sweet. Then there is Emmet; just think of a giant stuffed teddy bear and you pretty much got Emmet. He works with construction and things like that. Jasper is awesome; he is a history buff. Ask him anything and he can give you all the details and dates. And then there is Rose." As soon as the name left his mouth, his smile he had as he talked about his family faltered.

Suddenly the air around us seemed to get a little stiffer and I wondered what had happened. One minute we were having a very nice conversation, Edward smiling comfortably, I was even smiling! The next Edward's face was looking like it was a stone wall.

I wondered if it had something to do with Rose. Maybe she had something to do with what raped girl. What if she was _the_ girl?!

Feeling shocked and rather sick I let the conversation drop; I couldn't bring myself to ask Edward if I was guessing right. I didn't want to think that this kind and caring person that I had jut met; but already knew to be a better person than I would have to go through something like that with a family member.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. After we got past the awkward silence about Rose; we talked easily about other things. I told him that I was an only child and about how crazy/fun my mom was. I talked about Phil and how good he was for her. I told him about Angela, and wasn't all that surprised when he told me he knew who she was. Forks was a small town after all.

When Charlie came by to pick me up at five I was surprised to see him. I hadn't realized how much time had passed since I had been here. I had actually had fun. This month might not be so bad after all. Well, not if I get to see Edward every day.

**A/N Hey Thanks for reading! So I just want to mention that I have a Beta. It is Vinetta****-****Venture. She basically added details and such. So thanks Vinny! Please review! Thanks so much for reading!**

**-Esmefan1-Elissa. **


	3. Bad dreams and court dates

"_Maddie? Maddie?" I called out. I couldn't find her anywhere I looked. There was fog everywhere__ making it impossible to see anything beyond a few feet__. I tried to look down the dark street for Maddie, but I couldn't find her anywhere. "Maddie cut it out. It's cold out here. I wanna go home." I said__ starting to get__ really scared. I turned around in a circle__, the dark gloom everywhere I looked__. "Maddie!" I called out again. Nothing. Tears fell down my face. Where's Maddie? __Not knowing what to do__ I started walking down the street __that was underneath my feet__ when a man appeared about 50 feet away__ through the fog__. Next to him was a girl leaning up against him. He was holding her by her hair. In his other hand was a long blade __red blood dripping from the end__. He spoke in a rough voice, __ "I think I found Maddie."_

I jerked up in bed and screamed. I had sweat all over me; making my loose t-shirt stick to my body. My door flew open and Charlie ran to my bed. "Bella, what's wrong?" He said, suddenly beside me and holding me close. I shook my head. "Just a bad dream. Just a bad dream." _Don't cry Bella. Not now. You wont be able to stop if you do. _"I'm fine dad. Go back to bed." I said laying back down. "Okay.." He said, looking down at me in concern; his eyes watched my face for a few minutes, but couldn't seem to find anything to him have a good reason to stay and got up. He looked hesitant at first, but his tiredness willed him to go back to bed.

I laid in bed staring up at the white ceiling. I blocked everything out. I can't think about Maddie right now; I couldn't handle it. I felt my heart ach at her name. I closed my eyes ready for another sleepless night.

**

The next three days went by in a flash. I was starting to know the patient by name and was starting to feel sad for a lot of them, as I heard all their stories. I wasn't sure how Edward could take it all in so easily. I didn't know how he could look into Donivan's eyes; knowing that his brain tumor might very well kill him tomorrow. How could he just smile at Izzie, while her hair is falling out while they are talking?

Edward was really something. It took a really amazing person to do what he does every day. Giving these kids hope, while they are surrounded in darkness, making them laugh when everything around them is dull and depressing.

I had all but broken down when he told me about Callie and that she had been born premature by three months and was still suffering the effects that it caused. She was now 8. She had to come in twice a month for checkups to make sure everything was still forming right inside her misshaped body.

But Edward; no, he didn't let all these things get to him, he takes all these things and puts it into his desire to help these kids. It was an amazing thing to see.

I was also surprised to see how it made me feel; to be a part of helping these little people. I felt like I was really doing something important.

Also as the days past I got to hear a little more about Edward. He told me how great his adoptive parents were and how they had been married for 25 years and had been trying to have a child for 20. He told me a lot about Jasper. About how he owned his own library in Port Angeles. I could tell Edward and Jasper must be really close by the way he talked about his adoptive brother.

I was starting to become a little more comfortable around Edward as well. Which was a big thing for me. I mean I wasn't ready to tell him my big bad secret or anything, but I could talk with him easily. I was kind of afraid I might talk too much. But he never said anything about it. But even if he did mind, I don't think he would say so. He seemed like the kind of person who would let himself be uncomfortable if it let someone else be at ease.

I walked through the front doors of Forks Hospital on my third day when a short little girl about my age walked up to me. She had short, spiky brown hair and bright eyes. "Hi Bella! I'm Alice, Edward's sister. Well, adopted sister, but whatever." She said with a huge perfect smile. "Hello." I said smiling back; not really getting the chance to hug her back before she was at arm's length again.

"Edward couldn't be here today, he is err…doing something. But Carlisle said you can work with me today." She said looking very excited about the idea. "Okay." I said with a shrug. Edward had told me a little about Alice, but I wasn't ready for the bouncy ball of energy. Not that that was a bad thing.

"I work on the upper wing of the hospital. I work with the elderly people." She told me as we walked side by side to an elevator that was in the lobby. I just nodded and followed her.

Alice turned out to be a very…interesting person. She is very funny. And…hyper. Yeah that's the word; I think. We worked in the upper wing with the elderly people. Alice is just as good with them, as Edward is with the children; which was kind of surprising since she was so energetic. But as I watched her with the older women and men I saw the same caring look on her face that I had seen on her brother's. And as it turned out the older people seemed to like her spunk. They found her very entertaining and endearing.

"Alice, why is there so many people in Forks Hospital?" I asked as we walked out of a 86 year old man name Howard's room. It didn't make since why a place so small could have so many sick people. "Oh, the hospital in Port Angeles caught fire about a year ago so most of the patients there had to be sent here. Also, everyone loves Carlisle." She said with an even bigger smile.

I could tell that this family must have great respect for their fatherly figure. Which wasn't hard to imagine; I really don't know the man that well but I could see how he raised his kids. And anyone with kids like these must have really great parents. "Wow. Your dad seems great."

"Oh he is. And so is Esme, are mother. We're all adopted. Emmett is the only one actually related to them. Esme was his mom's sister." Oh. Suddenly I felt bad for this family. Did this mean they all lost their families? And what about Edward? It seemed like he was on my mind all the time lately. I didn't understand the way I felt inside whenever I thought of his name. It was sort of like a tingly feeling and I wasn't sure what to make of it.

But the very thought of Edward being hurt, made me sick to the core. Alice brought me out of my thoughts. "Bella? You ready for lunch?" I nodded and we headed down the hall.

After we got our trays of lunch we sat down at a table. My lunch consisted of half of a ham sandwich, two crackers, and a pudding cup. "Bella, you're eating less than me!" Alice exclaimed; sitting down across from me at the small circular table. "And that is very hard to do." A large man said sitting next to Alice. I was taken back for a moment by the mere size of the man. He was at least 6.6 and was very wide. Not in any way fat, just covered in muscle. Alice looked like a small child next to him. "Emmett!" Alice said hitting him upside the head.

"Sorry. Where's Eddie?" Emmett said with a grin. "He is uh…._doing something." _Alice said very suggestively her eyes growing a little wider. "What?" Emmett said with a baffled look on his face. "He is _doing something_." She said through her teeth giving Emmett a very meaningful look. Emmett still didn't get it.

"Um, Alice do you want me to walk to the bathroom and back?" I asked slightly amused. Clearly she wanted to tell him something without my knowledge. "No Bella. My stupid brother will figure it out. Emmett. What is the date?"

"Uh…the 15th?" He asked looking very thoughtful. "Yes Emmett. And why do you think that on this day, Edward and Carlisle are not here? Or why Esme isn't at home?" She asked suggestively. He seemed to think about this for a long while before realization fell upon him. "Oh! The court date!" He exclaimed. "Emmett!" Alice yelled, hitting him again. He looked guilty as he rubbed the spot where Alice had hit him on the arm.

I chuckled. Obviously Emmett was not very bright. "Oh sorry." He said with a small smile.

"I'm sorry for my brother's idiocy, Bella." I shook my head. "No problem." I said. Realization came upon Emmett. "Your Bella?" He asked. I nodded. "Dang. So you're the girl Edwards been talking ab-"

"Emmett!" Alice interrupted, hitting him yet again. "Would you stop that?" He said with a scowl. I chuckled. This family was so very funny. I watched as Alice and Emmett bantered back and forth with each other. I could get used to this. Wait, what am I saying? Get used to what? I am going home in three and a half weeks. There will be no getting used to anything in Forks.

Emmett left for a moment, leaving with a rub of Alice's hair and came back a minute later with a tray of food; and then we all ate in silence. "When will they be home?" Emmett asked a little later. "I'm not sure. It could take a long time. Hopefully Edward will be able to talk about it this time. If he doesn't the judge will have to reschedule." As they talked I kept my head down and ate, listening quietly. But my mind was full of questions.

Was Edward okay? Was he in trouble? What happened? Had they had to reschedule before? Why? Oh the question 'why'. The worst of them all. I hated that questioned. It's the most asked, yet the less answered. Sometimes life's just hard, with no reason at all.

After we ate we worked some more, feeding some patients, giving others their medicine. There were some times I wasn't sure what to do and I just watched Alice as she worked easily with the older people. Alice was very patient with me; explaining everything that I didn't understand with great detail so I would be able to do whatever needed to do with confidence. Around five Alice offered to give me a ride home.

"So Bella, Angela says you guys are really good friends." Alice said as we rode in her yellow Porsche. The radio was on, but on low so that we could talk easily talk if we wanted to, but was loud enough that if we didn't it wasn't awkward. "Oh yeah. We've known each other for like, ever." I said nervously. What else did Angela tell her? Did she tell her about my problem? She couldn't have. Angela isn't like that. Suddenly I felt guilty for even thinking like that. I had no reason to doubt Ang.

"Cool. Ang and I are pretty good friends too. She is so nice. I think you and I will be great friends, Bella. Today was so much fun. I'm gonna have to go tell Jasper all about you. Well, everything that Edward hasn't already." she said chuckling. "Jasper? That's like your brother right?" I asked.

"Well, kind of. He's actually my boyfriend. It's complicated." She said with a laugh. "See, Emmett is Esme's nephew. Rosalie is Emmett's fiancé and Esme's adopted daughter. Jasper and I are dating, yet we both are adopted by Carlisle and Esme. And then there's Edward. He's adopted as well. Like I told you before, we are all adopted. We all have own story to tell." She sighed as she continued.

"And it's harder for some of us then it is for others. I mean, take me for instants. My parents died when I was a baby so I don't remember them at all. And I found Carlisle and Esme when I was five. And then there's Edward." Alice's face slid a little, turning from happy to a little upset. "And Edward, well his story is like mine, but oh so different." She sighed again.

"Oh. Well, he seems fine to me." Did something happen to him? What did Alice mean by their stories were alike but different? I wanted to ask these questions, but I didn't know if I would be overstepping my bounds."He was pretty happy when I saw him yesterday."

"Yeah, he puts up a good front. But I've said too much already. If Edward wants to tell you his story, then he will." She said as she pulled in Charlie's driveway.

"Yeah. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I said getting out of the car. "Okay. Bye Bella!" she said with a huge smile back on her face. I watched as she pulled out of the drive way and drive off down the road before making my way into the empty house.

Dad wasn't home yet so I was left with nothing to do. I felt kind of weird sitting in the house all alone; so not being able to think of anything else to do I ran up stairs and grabbed my PJ's and went to the bathroom. I took a 25 minute long shower; enjoying the steaming water on my back. Once I was out I threw my dirty clothes, my smock and white pants, into the hamper in my room and made my way back down the stairs. I was glad and a little relieved to see that dad was home; sitting on the sofa watching the basketball game, his socked feet propped up on the coffee table, gun-belt hanging on the hook by the front door.

"Hey I thought I heard the shower running. How was your day?" He asked as I took the seat next to him.

"It was good. I was working with Alice today though." I said leaning my head tiredly back into the cushions. Only sleeping 3 hours wasn't really something I needed to do very often. "Edward wasn't there today; well neither was Mr. Carlisle. So I worked with Alice in the elderly wing."

"Well that's nice." He said, looking back to the TV screen now that the commercial was over.

I chuckled and got to my feet. "I'm going to go make us some dinner. Fried fish sound good to you?"

Dad nodded, still not looking up. I smiled and made my way to the kitchen wondering if he even knew what he said.

That night was another sleepless night, with more nightmares. But I also had a dream. A real, beautiful, miraculous, dream. And it was about a cretin green eyed boy.

***

Edward's POV

We sat waiting outside the court room on a hard wooden bench. My mind was full of Bella. There was something about her, that made me feel all weird in side, but I liked it. I would rather my mind be full of this beautiful girl, than the things I would be forced to remember when we enter the room. The last couple of days had been rather perfect. Bella and I had worked side by side each day from 8:30am to 5:00pm. And during the 25 ½ hours that I had spent with her in the hospital I had learned quite a bit about her. She told me more about her mother, and how she was really the more responsible out of the two. She told me about growing up with only one parent being there at a time. She had told me how she missed her father when she was away from him. She also had told me about her best friend Ang and how they had kept in contact over the years even through the distance.

I found Bella quite interesting. She was quiet, but I got the impression that she had an opinion of her own and wasn't afraid to stand up for what she thought was right. She was absolutely stunning; partly because I was sure she didn't flaunt it like most girls do.

The door of the court room suddenly opened and I was brought back to the here and now. Fear quickly swept over me. Would I be able to tell them? All of them? "Mr. Mason?" A man wearing a policeman's uniform said. I stood up, along with Carlisle and Esme. "You're up." I took in a deep breath. Here we go.

"Mr. Mason please approach the stand." Judge Maverick ordered. I did as he said. Carlisle and Esme sat amongst the crowd ; as I sat down after swearing to tell the truth I stared at them. I knew what would be coming next, and I wasn't sure if I could do it. I wasn't sure if I could revisit everything I would have to if I was going to tell these people what they wanted to know. A lawyer wearing a dark grey suit and blue tie came up to me. "Mr. Mason. Could you please tell us some of things that the Tyson's did to you while you were in their care?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes um…Well, I went to live with them when I was five years old. At first it was okay. They were a nice, normal family. But then one day I forgot to make my bed, and when Mr. Tyson got home, he got really mad.

"He slapped me across the face. That's the first time he hit me. But then, he- he. I'm sorry." I sighed closing my eyes. _Pull yourself together Edward. You can do this. You can do can't hurt you here._ "I'm sorry." I said clearing my throat. "The next time he got mad he pulled out this wooden cane…."

***

Bella's POV

_Ugh. Saturday._ I thought sitting up in my bed. Dr. Carlisle said I didn't need to come into work on Saturday. But that meant I wouldn't be able to see Edward. Why did this bother me so much? What about this guy has got me going crazy? Or since I'm already pretty crazy, crazier? I spent yesterday with his sister and today I'm going to be all by myself. Angela called me last night to invite me to go see a movie today, but I said no. I can't go to the theater. Not anymore. Not after what happened to Maddie. That's one of the reasons why I don't have many friends. Everyone thinks I'm a freak and maybe I am.

Angela understands though. She knows what happened. Angela doesn't think I'm a freak. But Edward, he will. If he knew just how crazy I really am, he wouldn't want to be my friend. I don't even understand why Angela is my friend. Does she not see my freakishness? I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed. I went in the bathroom and brushed my teeth and got dressed. Then I headed down stairs for some breakfast. There was a note on the fridge that read,

_Bells, I've gone fishing with Billy. I'll be back late. Go have fun. I have my cell if anything goes wrong._

Great. I opened the fridge and got some milk for my cereal. I ate slowly. When I was done I put my bowl in the sink. Then the door bell rang. It scared me a little and I jumped. I walked over to the door and opened it. The person behind the door, I was not expecting at all. "Oh hey Edward."_  
_

**A/N Hey people! Thanks for reading! Did you like it? Once again I have to thank Vinetta-Venture for being my Beta! She has been adding details and such since I am so bad at that. :/ So readers, just a little heads up. This is going to be a sad story. I probably should have told you this before. But yeah, it's going to be sad. The end will be happy though! I think... Any way, please review!!**

**-Esmefan1-Elissa.**


	4. Stories to tell

I stood at the doorway staring at Edward. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a white collard button up shirt; his hair was in that messy way as usual. He looked really good. I hadn't seen him outside the hospital and there he always wore a white coat. But why the heck was he here? "Hey Bella." He said smiling at me. His voice seemed to bring me back to the moment. "Hey. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?" Don't get me wrong, I was very happy to see him. I had just been thinking about not being able to see him for the next couple days. But I was a little worried as to why he was here. Was something wrong? Had something happened to Alice or one of the others? Or was it one of the patience? "Oh well...That is a very good question." He said sighing, looking down, as if at a loss for words.

_Invite him in already! He is going to think you are being rude!_ A little voice in my head screamed at me. "Why don't you come in?" I asked, feeling a little dumb for not saying it sooner and stepping aside so he would have room. "Oh thanks." He said walking past me; his clean scent filling my nose as he did so. We went into the living room and sat down. There was kind of an awkward silence. "So do you want something to drink?" I asked him; hoping he said yes so I would have something to do besides sit here doing nothing. "Nope." He replied clasping his hands together on his knees.

"Okay." More silence. Why couldn't I think of anything to say to him? "So Angela talks very highly of you." Edward said out of nowhere, with a smile, breaking the ice. "Really? Angela has always been awesome. But she has always been too generous with her complements." I said remembering how she's been there even when I wasn't. "I don't think so." He said looking me in the eye. "You must have a lot of friends back home."

"Ha. Not really." I said sighing further into the sofa. "Not at all really." "Oh come on. You have got to have at least one friend at home." He said giving me a confused look. I thought hard. I only had one.

"Well....there's Maddie." My heart ached at her name and the fact that what I had just said was a lie. There wasn't even Maddie anymore. "Oh really? What's she like?" He asked settling into the couch and smiling friendly at me. He sincerely wanted to know. My heart did a flip-flop as I thought about Maddie; where did I even start. There was so many things to choose from. "Well, she's so beautiful. She's skinny, and she has long blonde curly hair." Maddie's face came to my mind with clarity as I talked about her. "She's so funny too! Like, even if what she says isn't funny, it's still funny, you know?" I said smiling. "Maddie was my best-friend. We went everywhere together. I'm serious, if she was invited to a party she would refuse to go unless she could bring me with her. She had a single dad and with my single mom, we always hoped that they would get together." I laughed at the memory and how upset we were when her dad met Amber, who he was now married to. "She lived in the house next to mine.

"And every week-end we would go to the theat-" I stopped myself short, my voice freezing in my throat. The theater. That's the last place I ever saw her alive. "Bella?" Edward said. I barely heard him as images of that night blew out of the tiny box inside my head that I kept them in. Things that I had hoped would fade and maybe be forgotten. But as the flew around in my head, I saw each with perfect clarity. "Um, was that the phone?" I said bolting off the couch standing up and walking quickly to the kitchen. This can't happen. I closed my eyes and leaned heavily against the wall. I hadn't thought about Maddie like that in so long. It hurt to think of her like that again. It hurt to think about her, knowing I would never have her like that again. Knowing she was gone forever. I felt my eyes filling with tears.

"Bella, the phone didn't ring." Edward said turning the corner and entering the kitchen, beside where I was standing.

"Bella, are you okay?" He said rushing over to me. I wiped away the few tears that had fallen. "I'm fine. I'm sorry just memories are kind of overflowing right now." I said sniffling.

Edward looked at me hard in the face, though it felt like he wasn't, it felt like he was looking right through my face, right through the mask I was wearing and looking right into my very being. He spoke very slowly, hesitantly. "This wouldn't have anything to do with why you said she _was_ your best-friend?" That's when my heart stopped.

I can't talk about this now. Can I? "Maddie..." I tried saying though my throat was hoarse. I couldn't do it! I have to stop remembering! It hurts too much! "I can't Edward. I can't remember that now." I said with more tears falling down my face. "Okay. Bella, we all have our own stories to tell. And we all have our own time to tell it." He said softly, looking at me sadly.

"Thanks." I said. Edward seemed to understand I needed a minute and stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and looked down at the floor in front of him, while I took in a couple deep breaths and wiped away the last of my tears.

"Okay, I'm done with my melt down." I said after a few minutes, hoping that I hadn't made Edward too uncomfortable. I didn't want him to think I was some sort of freak that randomly starts to cry. I hoped he didn't ask any questions about it. Though that seemed unlikely since he had just witnessed me crying my eyes out for what was to him no reason at all. If only he knew.

Edward smiled down at me. He really had a few good inches on me. "Okay well, what do you wanna do today?" He said with a smile. I nearly choked on air as he said the words. He didn't want an explanation about what had just happened to me; didn't bombard me with questions. He just let it slide. He just wanted to move on like nothing out of the normal had just happened. Thinking quickly I said the first thing that came to my mind. "Wanna watch a movie?"

Edward grinned at me. "I'll do anything as long as it's with you." My heart stopped yet again and I felt my insides do a flip-flop. I felt a goofy sort of smile make its way onto my face. What was happening inside of me? "Okay. Well, uh, I got this movie that Ang let me borrow." I said thankful that I even remembered it. My brain seemed to be slowing to a sluggish snail pace. "I haven't seen it yet though. She says it's really good but it's like about vampires so I don't know. I've never really watched a _good_ vampire movie." I said rambling because of the butterflies that were tickling the insides of my stomach. Why was I so nervous.

"Oh come on, I think we should at least give Angela the benefit of the doubt. Does she normally have bad taste in movies?" He asked stepping a little closer, it was so subtle I wouldn't have even noticed it if it wasn't for the fact that I seemed to notice every little move that Edward was making.

"No!" I said, it coming out more like a squeak. I cleared my throat. "No, uh, she has always been good in the past." I said quickly, nodding my head.

"Okay then, I say we give it a go." He said.

We sat on the sofa and watched the movie. Well, I w_atched_ the movie…well most of it. I did have a hard time of it. I found myself looking over at Edward a lot during the two plus hours that we sat in front of the TV. My mind kept asking me: Why was he here? He had never really answered my question. I had asked then he came in and we starting talking about Maddie. I had just forgotten to reask. But all in all, the movie was rather enjoyable. Both Edward and I laughed a bunch throughout the whole movie. I also found that I really liked it when Edward laughed. It was a very freeing thing to hear. And to see. His face seemed to brighten as he did so.

After the movie, we went into the kitchen and when I asked him if he would like something to drink this time he said yes. So I gave him some Fruit-Aid. "Wow. This is great. What is it?" he asked after taking one sip. "It's a mixture of fruit punch and pink lemon aid. Maddie was the first one to ever make it." I said with a smile. It had actually been an accident. Maddie had meant to add two packets of fruit punch, but had grabbed only one of them and grabbed a pink lemon aid without realizing it 'til we started drinking it. "Sweet. So that movie was interesting. I mean, I'm not a weirdo or anything, but Edwardo is pretty dang good looking." Edward said leaning against the counter and looking at me over the rim of his glass as he took another sip.

"Edwardo? Are you kidding me? Did you see James in all his werewolf glory? He was hot!" Really I mean those muscles are huge! "Bella, are you serious? It's just cause he's got a tan." Edward said with huff, setting his half empty glass on the counter next to him. "I don't know. I really never had a thing to the really dark guys, I just don't think it's that attractive. I like whiter guys." Oh crap. Edward is like really white. I'm so stupid. what if he realized that? I felt my face grow warm

"Really?" He said with a funny grin.

I folded my arms over my chest. "Yeah, but come on you have got to have thought Isabelle is gorgeous?"

"Yeah she is. You know I was thinking that you two look _very_ much alike." He said looking me right in the eyes. Why is this boy making my heart stop so much? He's gonna kill me one day I swear. "You're blushing. It's a very lovely look on you." And of course that made me blush more. "Thanks." I said with my eyes looking at my glass of punch.

_Cause I'd like to see you_

_Out in the moon light_

_I'd like to kiss you_

_Way back in the sticks_

_I'd like to walk you_

_Through a field of wildflowers_

_And I'd like to check you for ticks_

Edward's ring tone went off. I smiled as the ring tone went on; who would have thought that Edward would be a country kind of boy? He got his phone out of his pocket and sighed. He opened his phone and held it to his ear. "Hey Alice." He said with a sigh. Pause. "No Alice I didn't get that ring tone because of that!" He said with his face getting red. "Yeah I'm at Chief Swan's house." Pause. Edward rolled his eyes; looking quite cute as he did so. "Yes with Bella." Then I heard screaming coming from the phone. Edward jerked the phone away from his ear. "Alice calm down."

He brought the phone back to his ear as Alice talked excitingly. "No you can not come over." He said through his teeth. "It's okay if she comes." I told him. I wasn't really sure why, but as the words left my mouth, I almost wished I hadn't said anything. Then I heard more screaming from the phone. "Alice. Calm down." I could barely contain my laughter. I love Alice. She's so funny.

A moment later Edward closed his phone, cutting Alice off in mid cream.

"She'll be here soon." He said with a sigh; slipping his phone back into his jean pocket.

I smiled, but I couldn't think of anything to say, so we fell into a silence for a moment. "So," I said, grasping for something to say. "nice ring tone." Was all I came up with.

He smiled sheepishly; ducking his head. "Yeah, well I had the same ring tone for so long I decided that I needed a change. And then I heard this song of the radio yesterday, so I got it."

I smiled to myself as I watched him, he looked so abashed! It was kind of adorable. "So what did you have before?"

"Mad World by Gary Jules." He said with a shrug.

I blinked. "Really?" He nodded. "Wow, that's a big change."

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked, his head titled to the side, looking at me with curious eyes. Though, there was something else there, something I couldn't recognize.

"No. I was just commenting." And I saw him relax; I hadn't even noticed his anxious posture 'til I saw his shoulders relax. What was that about? Did I say something.

I didn't get to think long on this before Edward asked. "So what's your favorite song?"

"Oh no, that's not a good question to ask me." I laughed. "It could take me a while and I still may have more than one answer."

"I'm okay with that." Edward said with a wide grin.

I was distracted for a moment by his smile, but forced myself to focus on my task. "At the moment I think I will have to say, Vanilla Twilight by Owl City." I said with a nod. "But it sometimes changes by the day, but yeah, today that is my answer."

He nodded. "Okay, I've never heard of them; so I guess I'll have to give you the benefit of the doubt on this one."

I choked on my mouth of Fruit-Aid. "Are you serious? You've never heard of Owl City?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave my house now." I said pointing to the door.

Edward's smile faltered. "Really?" He asked dejected.

I fought a smile at his hurt face. It did something funny to my stomach to know he didn't feel like leaving my house right now. I sighed and shook my head like I was disappointed. "Maybe I could over look this; under one condition."

Edward looked a little hopeful. "Anything." He promised quickly. Again I had to fight down a smile.

I sighed again. "Wait right there." I said before walking out of the kitchen. As soon as I had rounded the corner I hurried through the living room and up the stairs, bursting through my bedroom door. I quickly located my I-Pod on my desk by my old computer and made my way back down to the kitchen. When I walked in Edward was right where I left him, leaning against the counter next to the sink.

I walked up next to him and hopped my butt up onto the counter top. I patted the space next to me before I started unwinding the headphones from around the I-Pod. "Take a seat Edward, because this song will knock you off your feet." I said and handed him a ear bud.

Edward looked at me for a long moment, making my heart skip a beat, before he smiled and slid onto the counter next to me, so close that our shoulders brushed. After he took the ear bud I played the song. I watched Edward as it went through the first verse and into the choirs. He was looking off into nowhere, he looked as though he was concentrating solely on the lyrics. I watched as the second verse passed and the choirs start up again and he smiled.

When the song was over Edward nodded his head. "I was right. It is a really good song."

I gasped. "What!? I was the one that said it was a great song!"

He nodded; turning to me, the movement pushing our shoulders together, and he smiled softly. "Yeah, and I was the one that said I should give you the benefit of the doubt. So in a way I was right."

Our eyes locked and my heart stopped. We were a lot closer than I had first realized, our shoulders still pressed together, and our faces were only a couple inches apart. From this distance I could really appreciate how good looking Edward was. With his green eyes that looked much darker now that I was closer, and I could not see had little flecks of gold in them, I could barely breath.

A loud bang made me sit up strait and seemed to restart my brain.

"Oh my gosh. Hi Bella! What have you two been doing?" Alice asked bouncing into the room with a hopeful smile. Hopeful for what? I had no clue. Did I even want to know…..I'm not sure.

"Jeez Alice, did you forget how to knock?" Edward asked giving his sister a scowl.

Alice just waved him off. "No, but Bella and I are just so close I don't have to." She said proudly. Edward just looked like he had ice water thrown on him. "So, what have you been up to again?" She asked, looking at Edward suspiciously.

"Oh we just talked and watched a movie." I said, wondering if I should get off the counter or not. I didn't really want to, but would Alice think I was rude if I didn't? I debated in my head for a moment, the only reason I had for not wanting to move was because of Edward's shoulder that was still leaned against mine.

Wait, if that was my only reasoning, I needed to get up. So I hopped down off the counter.

"Oh which one?" She asked heading for the living room. I followed behind her; Edward bringing up the rear. "Twilight."

"Omg I love Casper!" She exclaimed. "Yeah he is pretty cool." I was sitting on the sofa happy to see Edward join me while Alice sat in the rocking chair. "Oh, Edward I almost forgot." Alice said, sitting up straighter. "Carlisle wants you to call his cell." Alice told him. Edward excused himself and went in the kitchen. Alice and I talked about some new store that was opening up across from Jasper's Library. Well I say we, but it was more Alice telling me about it. I had never heard of the store before, but it seemed to get Alice really excited. She was just telling me about the 'cutest shoes' that they had when Edward came back in. His face looked flushed and his eyes looked watery. The look scared me; because I knew that look.

"What happened to her?" Alice said standing up with the same horror on her face. "Who?" I asked standing up as well, my heart racing. Something was terribly wrong. Edward was shaking, not looking like he would even be able to stand much longer. "Jenny." He said, his voice breaking. "She has atypical teratoid/rhabdoid tumor also known as ATRT. It's fatal. It's a type of brain cancer. She passed out earlier in the play room. They had to go into surgery. She's fine now, but Carlisle thinks she has less time then they originally thought." The way he said it, I was sure that was the exact way Carlisle said it because it sounded like he was reading the words off a page.

My mind imminently went to Jenny. I didn't know her well; but I had gotten to talk to her a couple times in the last couple of days while working with Edward. She was really mature for her age; though that might have to do with the fact that she had a fatal cancer. But what about Edward? I had seen the way they talked, the way he watched after her. He loved her. He loved all those kids, but Jenny was different. I didn't know why, but I knew that she was special to him. My eyes started to water as I thought about how young she was, she was only SIX! How was this fair to her? "I'm sorry but I have to go to the hospital. Apparently she won't stop asking for me." Edward said and then met my eyes. "Oh and she wants Bella too."

"Me? Oh okay. Well, lets go then." I said standing up to get my shoes. "Okay. We'll take my car." He said opening the front door. We all filed out. I locked the door with my spare key and climbed in his silver Volvo. During the short ride to the hospital I wondered why Jenny had asked for me. It didn't really make any sense. I mean, I thought she was sweet and I hoped to get to talk to her more, but, why did she ask for me?

It only took us about ten minutes to get to the hospital. When we got there we went straight to room, 108. Jenny was sitting up in her bed. She looked paler than normal, and her eyes looked tired; but they still sparkled when Edward walked into the room. "Eddie! Bella! Finally you're here. I've been waiting a long time." She said getting down to hug Edward. Edward smiled, the first smile since we left my house and picked her up, spinning her around. Jenny laughed as he did so, her smile growing brighter.

As I watched Edward swing her around I couldn't help my thoughts. I was just starting to really see Edward. I mean, yes he's gorgeous, but he's so much more than that. In the short time that I have spent with him I've seen how honest he is. How trusting he is. How amazing he is.

Edward sat Jenny down on the bed and turned to look at me. Something in those green eyes gave my chills. "Edward, can you take me to Angel's Field?" Jenny asked excitingly, tugging on Edward's hand.

He seemed to think about this for a moment, but then he looked down at Jenny's beaming face and I saw him give in before he said. "Sure. Are you sure you're up to it?" He asked her. She nodded excitedly. I had no clue what they were talking about, but whatever it was it was making Jenny smile widely and nodded her head enthusiastically. "Okay, go ask you mom." He told her. Jenny threw her arms around Edward's middle before running out of the room to find her mom.

Edward's POV

It was a long car ride to Angel's Field. But even in that short amount of time I was able to thoroughly question myself: was it really a good idea to take Jenny away from the hospital right after surgery? I probably should have thought about that more. Anything could go wrong, and I would have to drive her all the way back to the hospital before I could help her. But when I looked over at Jenny who was bouncing in her seat, I knew I wouldn't have been able to give any other answer than the one I did. I also had to fight off the depressing thoughts that tried to cloud my mind; Jenny could have died today. We were just lucky this time; but what if the next time… NO! I turned from the thoughts and focused on the fact that Jenny was sitting here with me now. I promised myself then that I would do everything I could to make her life the happiest ever lived. After pulling off the highway, I drove down the dirt packed road 'til it was cut off by a line of trees.

"Ready?" I asked Jenny who had already taken off her seat belt and was half way out of the door.

She giggled and nodded.

So after climbing out of the car I got down on one knee in front of Jenny. "Alright then climb up."

I felt Jenny's light body clamber onto my back. Once she had her arms hastened around my neck and legs around my middle, I started toward the trees. I walked at a steady pace through the trees, knowing exactly where I was going. I had been through these woods so many times, weaved my way around these trees so many times that I even recognized certain markings that were on them.

The hike was a short one, not ever ten minutes; but when the end of the trees came into view Jenny was bouncing with excitement. When we finally reached the last tree, I stopped, as did Jenny. We looked out over Angel's Field in silence for a moment. It was more beautiful than ever. It was nestled in a bald patch of trees, spreading out for 100 yards in each direction from where I was standing. Flowers of every kind and color sprouted out of the ground, filling the entire field with a beautiful array of hues and shades of pink, purple, blue, orange, and red. The grass was about calf high and was soft under your feet. And near the middle of the oval you could see the diamond surface of the river that flowed right through the field; it's natural flowing sounds filling the empty air like a symphony.

I leaned down and set Jenny back on her feet. "Let's go." I whispered with a smile.

Jenny nodded and then grinning from ear to ear she took off at a run. I followed behind her a nice walk, watching was she skipped through the flowers, her white and pink dress floating over the grass; she looked like she was in heaven. She stopped nearby where we usual sat and twirled around in a circle, her hands above her head. I smiled as I sat down near to where she was spinning; she continued to do this for a little and then joined me on the ground.

"Edward," She said smoothing out her dress. "I think you should ask Bella on a date." She said sitting across from me with her legs crossed. "Really?" I asked her with raised eyebrows. Where did she get these ideas? "Yes. You like her and she likes you." I opened my mouth to interrupt her, but she held up her hand. "Listen Eddie. I'm going to die soon-"

"Jen, don't." I interrupted her. "Eddie, it's true. I know I'm just six but it's gonna happen soon." She said looking me right in the eyes. "Promise me you'll ask her out?" I could feel my emotions well up inside of me. "I promise." I said with a sigh. "And promise you will take her here." She said with a yawn.

I was shocked that she said this. Telling me to go out with Bella was one thing, but this was our place. "But Jenny, this place is for you and me." I said looking at her hard. "I know. And I'll still be here when I die." She said with a shrug. "Just like your mom and dad are here, and my brother is here. I'll ask God to send me here, then I'll help them paint the flowers with our wing tips." She told me. I once told her that that's what the angels did here. I had told her they came here every day, first thing in the morning, right as the sun starts to rise and brush the ground with the tips of their wings, making flowers form wherever they touched. Because there is no other way a place can be so beautiful. "I want Bella to see it." She yawned again and came to sit in my lap. Jenny's thoughts floated around in my head and I couldn't get them to leave. I could imagine bringing Bella here; she would love it. I could picture her face the first time she broke through the trees and saw the river. I could even see us, sitting here like Jenny and I were right now, talking about everything. Even though I didn't know Bella that well, something about her made me want to. She was interesting and funny. Not to mention beautiful.

My thoughts were cut off when Jenny's started speaking softly. "Edward, my dad wants to come see me." She said twirling a blade of grass between her fingers.

"For once." I huffed trying to keep my voice light. Jenny had a dead beat dad. Jenny's dad got real messed up after Jenny's brother Jackson died. He'd get drunk and hit her and her mom. Jenny's parents got a divorce about a year ago. He hadn't called, spoken, or seen either Jenny or Ms. Andrea since. I think that's why Jenny is my favorite kid. We have a lot in common. I mean, sure she's just six, but she acts so much older than that. Though when I think about it, it makes me sad. Because the reasons that she is so mature are horrible ones, like getting beat by her father, then having a killing cancer. "Eddie, I'm scared of him. I don't want him to hurt me again." She said softly as she snuggled closer to me.

"I would never let that happen Jenny." I said hugging her tightly, as though it would help keep all the bad things of the world at bay.. "Edward, I wish you were my dad." She said before she fell asleep. "I wish that too, Jen. I wish that too."

Bella's POV

"Mom why do you have to be gone for so long?" I asked my mom on the phone. I was back home from the hospital and was sitting on the kitchen counter listening to mom talk about what a great time she was having. "Bella, this is good for you. you need to spend time with your dad. You need time away from here. Make new friends." She said in her sweet voice. "Mom I like the friends I have." I said in a huff, though I knew that was a dumb thing to say. I didn't have any friends, and she knew it too.

"Bella you don't have any friends. All there is, is Angela and she's in Forks!" I felt like yelling back at her, but I didn't want this to turn into an argument. "Fine. What ever. When are you coming home?" I asked her. There was a pause on the other end, and when she finally spoke she sounded hesitant. " Bella, don't freak out. At the end of the month honey. So about three weeks." I am not freaking out I thought to myself with a sigh.

"Okay. I'll see you then." I said already thinking about all I needed to do once I hung up with her.

"Maybe. If you want to." Mom said quietly. Huh? What is she talking about? "What?"

"Well, honey, if for some reason you decided to stay in Forks I wouldn't be heartbroken." Does she not want me anymore? Is that it? Had her new husband Phil replaced me? "Now honey, don't read anything more into that then what I said."

"How can I not? Mom you know me, I read into everything. Oh my gosh." Okay now I was freaking out. My heart was beating in my chest so hard that it hurt. I put my hand over my heart, breathing rapidly. Suddenly today's dinner seemed like a lot. Did I really eat that much? I felt sickened as I went over everything that I had consumed. "Honey just don't worry about it. I love you." She told me. "Okay? I love you and I want you to come home."

I nodded before remembering I was on the phone. "Okay. I love you too." I said before hanging up the phone with a shaking hand.

I'm crazy. Yeah that's what it is. That's why I'm acting like this. I am crazy. I told myself, trying to push the feeling in my stomach away. And then that thought brought a memory back,

_"Bella slow down! You're crazy!" Maddie exclaimed. "Right. And your not?" We laughed as we walked into my house. "Hey kids! I made some peanut butter and chocolate chip brownies!" My mom called from the kitchen. We smelled the wonderful food my mother had prepared. We raced each other to the kitchen. "Thanks mom!" _

_"Thanks Ms. Renee__!" _

_"No problem girls. How was the movie?" She asked as she set some brownies in front of us. We were sitting at the counter and each grabbed for a brownie. "It sucked." I told her. "It was gross." Maddie said. "Omg Maddie that part where the guy gutted out the girl." I told her remembering a terrible part. "Yeah! Oh and when she came back from the dead and gutted him!" In union we both said, "Ew."_

Tears ran down my face and I choked on a breath. That's when life was good. Mom hasn't made those brownie since Maddie... I ran up the stairs, tripping twice in my hurry and threw myself into the bathroom. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and shoved my finger as far back in my throat as I could. I did this again, and again; 'til I had nothing left and was just dry heaving. Tears still leaking down my face I fell to my side on the bathroom tile floor. The tiles felt cool to my cheek and I pressed my cheek to the floor. My throat burned and my body felt tired and limp, but I couldn't feel my heart aching any longer.

If throwing up was the only way to make my heart stop aching, then I would keep throwing up.

I don't know how long I was on the floor, I think I might have passed out at some point, one minute it was daylight out, and the next thing I knew the sun was setting. When I heard dad walk in the front door I figured it was time that I moved, lest he find me lying on the bathroom floor. So as quickly as my suddenly pounding head would let me I got to my feet, stretching out my aching back as I did and went to my room. I laid in my bed as it got darker and darker. I pulled my legs up to my chest and put my arms around my legs and made a ball praying that the pain in the pit of my stomach would go away and the pounding in my head would stop. "Maddie." I whispered. "Maddie come back. I need my best friend back." I whispered as a single tear fell. And as I fell asleep, I cursed the man who took my best friend from me.

**A/N Hey everyone! So this one is like really long. That's a good thing right? lol I think y'all are starting to understand what happened to Maddie...It's sad....Anyway! Below is a message from our amazing Betareader! Vinny has been awesome in adding things. So make sure that when you review to say thanks to her! This chapter might suck with out her. :/ lol**

**Vinetta-Venture: Hey there all you peoples! I hope you guys are liking the story so far! Esmefan1 and I are working really hard on this story and would love to know that you think, so keep the reviews coming! Thank you to all those who have already! God Bless!**  
** Vinetta-Venture -Your Faithfull Beta Writer**

**So review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading guys!**

**-Esmefan1-Elissa.  
**


	5. Ew: Shopping

I was awoken suddenly and very abruptly when my bed started moving underneath me. Groaning I unwillingly opened my eyes to see Alice smiling so bright it could have blinded me. "Oh my gosh Bella! I know what we're gonna do today!" She exclaimed in a voice that was far too high for the morning hours. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. "Alice. That's great news, but could you get down? I would like to get out of bed now." I told her, blinking up at her trying to get my eyes to focus on my surroundings. I stared up at Alice as soon as her face lost its fuzzy lines, confused. Now that I was actually starting to wake up, my brain started working as well. What is she doing here? Why is she here?

She got down and sat on the side of my bed, but didn't stop jittering; which was rather annoying since she was wearing a couple of gold bangles on her left wrist, which made a jiggling noise when she moved. "So, Alice, why are you in my bed room? How did you get in?" I asked sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "Charlie let me in." Alice replied with a wave of the hand, as if the answer was obvious. "So we have got to go shopping! I just got paid! And I was just looking through your clothes, while waiting for you to wake up and I must say, it was pathetic."

"Well, yeah. I only brought my winter clothes. Besides I'm only going to be here for a few more weeks." I said getting out of bed. I walked past Alice on my way out of my room and stumbled to the bathroom, still disoriented.

"Yeah but come on Bella! Don't tell me you don't want to go shopping." She said following at my heels. I grabbed my tooth brush and started brushing my teeth.

With the brush in my mouth, I went down stairs to the small laundry room and pulled out jeans from the dryer; Alice still following me.

"Actually Alice, I don't really like shopping." I said walking back to the bathroom and spitting in the sink. And as soon as the words were out of my mouth, Alice went fanatic. "You're kidding right? Because there is no way a girl can say the words "Don't", "Like", and "Shopping" all in the same sentence." Her face showed a look of horror. If it wasn't for the fact that I was butt tired at the moment I would have laughed at her face. "Sorry Alice." I said before finishing brush my teeth. I shut the bathroom door and put my jeans on. "Okay, okay. We can work around this somehow." She said through the door; I could hear her pacing just outside the door.

"You mean you can just go without me?" I asked opening the door and raising my eyebrows at Alice. All I got was a look that seemed to ask me 'Are you stupid?'. Shaking my head I walked past her and went into my room to get a shirt from the closet. "Oh no. You're still going. I'm just going to have to put up with your whining." She said as she sat on my bed with a happy grin.

I laughed as a grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my tank top. I grabbed a hair brush from the bathroom and brushed through my hair once before I made my way back to the bedroom. "Why am I going with you?" I asked as I put my shoes on. Why _am _I going with her? It didn't really make a whole lot of sense. We had only met each other a couple days ago. I don't know her that well. And what did she really know about me? Can I trust her? Should I trust her? Even the thought of her finding out my secret scared me.

"Because you're my friend and you love me." she said getting up from the bed."Oh and Angela is coming too." I sighed to myself in silent relief. I trust Angela, so maybe I can do this.

Taking a deep breath I headed down stairs and went for the kitchen. "You want some breakfast?" I asked over my shoulder, about to get a bowl. "No! No time!" She sqeeled grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the front door, me stubbling along behind her.

"Come on." Alice urged me, tugging on my arm to get me to move quicker. What she didn't know was that if I moved any faster it was likely that I would break my leg…or her's. "I already forgot something at the house that we have to get. And we're supposed to be meeting Angela there in seven minutes! You can get some breakfast at my house." She said opening the door. My ears perked up at her last words. "Your house? Like where your brother lives?" Suddenly I found myself rethinking what I was wearing and how I looked. These feelings I'm having are completely foreign to me. And, frankly, I'm a little scared of it. I mean what did it matter that all I was wearing was light blue jeans and a black long sleeved shirt? This is what I normally wore.

"Uh, _yeah_. It'll be okay. Come on! Grab your purse and lets go."

"I have to tell Charlie." I said the first thing that came to my mind. My head was scrambling in all directions. "I already told him. Come on." She said once again. I barely had time to grab my purse which was conveniently on the table right next to the front door and the keys before Alice dragged me out of my house. Then we were off to the Cullen household in a rush. My heart hammering in my chest.

The whole way to the Cullen home I was nervous. I kept smoothing my hair, making sure I didn't have any zits; and then re-smoothing my hair again. Alice was going crazy in the drivers seat. She chattered a million words a second while driving thirty over the speed limit. I was seriously starting to wonder if we were even going to make it to her house before we died. She also kept telling me I looked fine and Edward didn't care what I wore. And when I told her I was not interested in Edward that way, she laughed; which scared me because of the speed we were driving at. "I know things Bella." She would say. After the third time she told me this, I finally was able to stop myself from looking in the mirror and forced myself to keep my hand away from my hair by clasping them hard together in my lap.

The ride was not a long one, ten minutes at most, but for some reason the ride seemed to go by and before I knew it we were pulling off the main road, heading into a little dirt path that was lined with trees on both sides. I would have just past by the little grove if it wasn't for the fact that Alice had turned onto it. We road down the dirt driveway for a minute before the trees broke out wide to reveal a large circle like opening. I sat stunned as Alice slowed down and I was able to take the whole scene in.

It was beautiful! Right in the middle of the circle there was a HUGE white house, it looked to be an older one, in the way that it was made, but had been fixed up recently. It was three stories tall, with a porch that disappeared around the sides of the house, probably going all the way around back as well. There were two swings on the porch, each one about two yards away from the front door, on either side. Behind each swing was a large window, through which I was given a good view of the first room, which looked to be a living room of sorts. I was almost too stunned by the house to even notice the parking garage they had to the right of the house; it wasn't until Alice parked her yellow Porsche that I did. Hopping out of the car I followed her, still looking at the house in front of me, up the porch. Alice opened the door, I swallowed hard past the lump that had formed in my throat and we went in.

My first look through the windows didn't do the first room justice. When I walked in behind Alice we entered a wide hallway, to the right there was a archway leading into a very fine dining room where a large oak table stood, with seven matching chairs set around it. There was also a door to the left, but it was closed. At the end of the hallway, the house opened up to bare a living room. The whole room was in perfect condition. My feet stood on dark wooden flooring, the walls were painted a soft white and every other piece of furniture was centered to look great with these colors. The light tan couch, had a matching love-seat and a overstuffed reclining chair set around the room. A dark wooden table sat in front of the couch, which was facing a Plasma Flat Screen TV that hung on the wall. Directly to the left of the door there was a wooden staircase. To the right you entered what looked like a kitchen.

But even all this wasn't what made me stand awe struck; but it was the far wall. The back wall of the house was completely made of glass; giving you a perfect view of the back yard. If that's what you could call it. The word didn't seem a magnificent enough word to describe what was behind the house. For the first ten yards from the porch it was just perfectly cut grass, but then you entered what looked like some kind of garden of sorts. I wasn't exactly sure what all was growing there, but it looked quite impressive. There were all colors and shapes making up the little garden.

"Just wait a sec. I gotta go see Jasper. I need to get his credit card. I'll be back in a flash." Alice's voice brought me back from my observations and I barely had time to look up before she raced up the stairway and disappearing out of sight. Suddenly I realized that I was all alone, left in this beautiful house, and I didn't know what to do. I stood there nervously debating whether I should or shouldn't move to the couch while I waited for Alice. After a few moments of consideration I finally decided that I probably looked like a idiot standing here, bouncing up and down from nerves; but just when I turned to find the couch, I heard a faint creaking noise come from the stairwell. That's when I saw her. Coming down from the top of the stairs was a woman in her middle twenties. She had beautiful blonde hair that was a little wavy. It went down past her shoulders. She had beautiful dark blue eyes. She was tall and lean, though not wimpy like most girls you see now days that are the size on my little finger. She was wearing dark skinny jeans and a loose white shirt that tightened around the hips. She had perfect skin and was perfectly proportioned. She had light makeup on, but I would bet all my money that she would still look perfect with out any makeup on. My heart sank just a little at the sight of her. In a way, she reminded me of some reason I knew who she was. She was perfect. She was beautiful. She was Rosalie.

She stopped on the bottom step. "Hello." She said in a beautiful voice. "H-hi." I stuttered back. Something about her made it hard not to feel less about myself. "Alice wanted me to tell you that Angela is running late and that you two will pick her up." She said politely "O-okay." I said as she turned and headed off through the dining room, disappearing into another room. I stared after the girl for a moment before I shook my head and made my way to the comfortable looking couch. "Well, that wasn't weird at all Bella." I said to myself as I perched on the edge of the couch, bracing my elbows on my knees and lying my face in my hands."With you everything is weird." I heard an all too familiar voice say to my side. I gasped and sat up straight. Edward was sitting in the chair to my right.

"How long have you been there?" I asked; I was sure he hadn't been there a minute ago. But then again, the chair was facing away from the staircase and had a rather tall back. It was possible that he had been sitting there the whole time and I just hadn't seen him.

Edward smirked and chuckled. "Long enough." He said with amusement sparking his eyes.

Feeling a little off balance I said the first thing that came to my mind. "What does that even mean? 'Long enough'? People say that all the time and I have no idea what they are talking about." I rambled off in a rush; praying that I would just shut my mouth. "How do they even know when it is 'long enough'. I mean-"

"Bella!" Edward said with a laugh. I stopped mid sentence and I could feel the blush rise to my face. Jeez! Why did I have to say the weirdest things when I was around Edward? "Do I not even get a 'Hey Edward' anymore?" He asked still laughing a little.

I took a deep breath, praying that my face wasn't too red. "Hey Edward." I said, probably with a stupid grin on my face. Really what this boy can do to me was unbelievable.

Edward smiled a smile, the crooked one, the one that made my heart do that weird double thump. "That's better. So sorry about Alice. I told her you didn't shop." He said with a knowing grin. I took a deep breath, trying to get my barrings. "Oh I'm sure you did. That's why she almost had a heart attack when _I_ told her."

"Well, maybe I didn't _really_ tell her. But I was thinking about telling her." He told me innocently. I chuckled at that; relaxing a little more into the couch. "Yeah and you know it's the thought that counts."

"Exactly." He said laughing along with me. He had such a beautiful laugh. But it wasn't even just his laugh, or even how his face seemed to brighten when he laughed; it was his whole demeaner. Everything seemed to let loose when he laughed like this. I loved getting to see and hear it. I caught myself at mid-thought. Whoa, snap out of it Bella. No attachments. You're not staying here. You're going home. "Bella?" I heard Alice call from the stairwell. "Oh of course you'd find _him_." She said rolling her eyes at me as she skipped into the room. "Bella. Time is short. We only have-" She stopped to check the time on her cell phone. "Oh my shoes! We only have eight hours left before the mall closes. Bella, you know I'm all for you and my brother hooking up but there's a knew Emma Hope high heel shoe that is gorgeous and I must own it now. I have it on pre-order but they can only hold it for a little longer."

Edward and I both were taken aback by her statement. I felt my face burning and I glanced over at Edward, who was leaning over the arm of the chair so the he could look at Alice. "Alice. Just- just go." Edward said obviously slightly embarrassed. "Fine. Come on Bella We have to go get Angela. Her parents didn't get home till just now and she was watching her brothers." Alice said turning around and walking towards the door. "You owe me." I told Edward as I got up from the couch to follow Alice. He just laughed. I followed Alice to her car where we got in and drove to Angela's house.

I really really _really_ hate shopping. My feet hurt, I'm carrying about ten bags, none of which were filled with things I picked out, and we've only been shopping for _5_ hours. 5 hours! Alice is crazy! I have a feeling she really hates me; because only a person that really hates me would make me try on and buy as many things as she was making me. We have been into at least seven stores and in each one Alice would rush in, knowing exactly where she was going, have a handful of clothes within seconds and demand that I try them all on. I had tried to say no, really I had, I didn't really think I needed anymore clothes. I mean I was going back home in a couple weeks anyway. But when I had tried to tell this to Alice she had waved her hand and told me: 'anything could happen'. I wasn't sure what she had meant by that, but in my confusion she had managed to push me into the dressing-room, my arms loaded high with shirts, skirts, and pants of all sorts. The whole day past by like this; I'm pretty sure I was forced to try on more clothing today then in the rest of my life combined. But not only did I have to try on anything and everything that Alice brought me, I also had to come out of the dressing room, to show Alice and Angela each outfit. I had tried to skip some clothes, but Alice seemed to remember each thing she gave me and would call me out on it.

Angela wasn't helping much either, she mainly stood by Alice and watched in clear amusement as I was used like Alice's Barbie doll. I had tried to get her to help me, maybe convince Alice that I didn't need any more clothes then what I already had, but Ang wouldn't help me. "I think you could use a few new things." She had told me when I had given her a betrayed glare, after she had refused to rescue me. "Some of the things you own, you've had since Middle School." Unfortunately Alice heard that last bit and that had made her shop for me with a new intensity.

I'm not even sure how she shopped for herself while constantly keeping me stuck in the dressing room with new clothes to try on every couple minutes; but every time we left a store I would leave with a couple bags along with Alice. Angela bought a few things as well. Though after we made our first drop off at the car; throwing all our bags into the trunk, she declared she was done for the day. Though that was not the case for Alice; and apparently me either.

By the time we got to our last stop of the day, the Food Court, Alice had another thirty bags. I felt as though I was about to just fall to the floor and I was seriously considering cutting my arms off just so I wouldn't have to carry any more bags. It was insane how much some clothes weighed. I was more than happy when we reached a small square table and I was able to let the bags fall out of my hands at last.

"So what do you guys want to eat?" Alice asked, far too chipper for someone who had spent the last six and a half hours in the dressing rooms.

Ang spoke up immediately. "I am getting chicken." She said with determination. I could have laughed at her serious expression.

"Sounds good to me!" Alice chirped, grabbing her purse and I followed the two girls to a Chinese booth.

We returned back to our table carrying red trays of yellow rice, chicken, and eggrolls. Most of the meal past by with Alice talking at a speed that I wasn't sure was possible, especially for someone so tiny. I listened to her talk about a hundred different things in the fifteen minutes it took us to eat. Most of the things were about Jasper, about when the first met, about how he really didn't like her all that much when they first started living together, a lot of things like that. She also told us a bit about Carlisle and Esme, though by the look on Ang's face, I think these weren't exactly new stories for her.

Once we had finished eating Alice asked if Ang and I were ready to leave, or if we wanted to hit a few more places before heading out. I nearly shouted that we leave; making both Alice and Angela snicker at me.

"You guys want to hang out at my house for a little while?" Alice asked as we drove into Forks. I was looking out the side window from the back seat, watching droplets on the glass slide down the door, or get shoved aside by another drop of water. It had started raining a few minutes after we had left the mall, starting at a small drizzle and steadily getting worse. "Sorry I can't. I have plans with Ben." Angela said, looking down at her lap and blushing lightly. "I'm free." I said in a quiet voice. I was a little nervous about spending even more time with Alice, especially if Ang wasn't going to be with me. "Awesome." Alice said smiling a strange smile. Alice looked like she was planning something. It made me even more nervous.

We road for a little while in silence and I continued to watch the rain fall outside my window. Suddenly pain came to my stomach and I groaned; bending over in the seat to hold my stomach. I guess after making myself throw up for so long my stomach is out of whack. "Bella are you okay?" Alice asked with a look of concern on her face, as she glanced between me and the road. "Yeah." I said though my teeth; hoping the pain would just go away. Maybe I could at least make it home. I didn't want to throw up in front of Alice. But then suddenly everything that I had eaten at lunch came back to me and I started to feel even sicker. My stomach lunged again. "No." I changed my answer. It felt like my insides were turning inside out. "Alice you might want to pull over." Angela said, turning around in the front seat to see me. I gave her a panicked look and she nodded sadly. "It's going to be alright." She whispered. She knew what this was about. "Okay." Alice said as she pulled over to the side of the road.

I jumped out of the car and into the pouring rain. The cool water actually felt good against my clammy skin. I ran to the edge of the woods, barely getting behind the first couple of trees before I my stomach gave the worst lurch of all and out came dinner. Once the first round of retching had stopped I cried out in pain. My throat and stomach felt like they were on fire. I glanced behind me and saw Angela opening her door to come help me. I held my hand out and protested against it. Angela didn't need to get soaked too. "I'll be okay in a second." I yelled over to them; praying that it was true. Angela, looked sadly at me for a moment before closing her door. I felt my stomach lurch again and I leaned against a tree for support while more came out of my body. Once the wave was over my stomach started to calm down a little, though my throat still burned, I made my way back to the car. After hopping in I leaned heavily onto the back on the seat. "I'm sorry guys. Alice I'm really sorry for getting your car wet."

"It's fine Bella. Are you okay? I can take you to go see Carlisle." She said looking really worried. I felt a little funny, to have someone not know what was wrong with me, and to witness what had just happened; it was weird to have someone worry about me, even though they didn't suspect that I might be killing myself. It kind of made me feel a little guilty about not having told Alice that I was a Bulimic. "No, no I'm fine." I insisted. If Carlisle is as good as everyone says, which I'm sure he is, then he would with out a doubt be able to tell that I'm Bulimic. And then no doubt everyone else in his family would find out. I wasn't ready for that. I barely knew any of the Cullen family. But already I wanted them to aprove of me, to like me. My sickness would defiantly not be a good thing in their sights. No, I didn't want them to know.

"Okay." Alice said a little hesitant, pulling back onto the road.

After we dropped off Angela we headed to the Cullen house. I was more than a little nervous, I had just thrown up on the side of the road, I could still taste the bile in the back of my sore throat. I was concerned that Alice might ask more questions, about how I was feeling; I was afraid that she might somehow put two and two together and guess what was wrong with me. Even though I knew that was ridicules; there was a lot of reasons that I could have been sick. But even knowing that it was very unlikely, I couldn't stop my worrying. But Alice didn't ask anything about what happened, besides asking me if I needed to go home. I had almost said yes; but something in me didn't like the idea of being home all alone. Dad wouldn't be home for another couple hours, and that left me by myself in the house; I didn't like the sound of that. But it wasn't only that, but I kind of _wanted_ to go the Cullen house; even though I was afraid that they might find out about me. I want to spend more time with them, especially Alice and, well, Edward. I felt my face grow a little warmer just thinking about him. I don't know what it is about him, but Edward was special. I shook my head at the corny thought; but it was true! I wasn't even sure what it was about him, maybe it was just all of him. When I am with him, things seem different, lighter almost. I know that Edward doesn't see me like that, or as anything beyond a girl from work; possibly a friend. But that was enough for me. Just to be around him was enough for me.

We road most of the ride in silence and I was left to my thoughts; though I'm still not sure whether that was a good thing or not. But as we got closer to the Cullen house I was getting a little excited because I could see Edward. I knew that it was silly, but I couldn't help it. But then I realized I was soaking wet. Of course when I mentioned this to Alice, suggesting we go by my house to clean up first; she just said she loved to do make overs. That got me a little scared. Being an only child I hadn't stopped Maddie from filling in the gaps that I had from not having a sister. She had taken the role of 'sister' and had made me feel as though we were family. She played, 'Bella Barbie Time' and she would spend hours doing my hair and make-up. I had never said anything to her about it, but I silently hated every time we had this time. But I would never have told Maddie that. She hadn't had any sisters either, and I sort of filled the gap in for her too. I know she had enjoyed that time with me; there was no way I could take that away from her. We really were sisters in every way that mattered.

When we reached the house Alice pulled her phone out of her pocket and started texting at the speed of light. I watched in amazement as her fingers zipped over the keys of her phone, before she slide the phone shut and hopped out of the car. A minute later Emmett walked out the front door and moved the to rear of the car.

"Hey Bella!" He said with a grin as he opened the trunk and stared pulling out the bags.

"Oh, I can carry some!" I said, hurrying to join Emmett.

Alice laughed and grabbed my arm before I could reach the trunk. "No, no, let him get the bags. Trust me, it will only take him one trip." She said leading me to the front door.

I watched over my shoulder doubtfully, but was amazed when staying true to Alice's words, Emmett started following us carrying ALL of our bags. "Yeah, besides, I've seen far worse." He said with a laugh.

As we walked into the house, Edward was coming down the stairs, stopping when he saw me. He clearly was trying not to laugh. He was wearing a black long sleeved button up shirt with none of the buttons done and a white shirt underneath it, with blue jeans.

"Hey Bella." He said with the cutest look on his face. _Stop it Bella. You can't like this boy. You're not pretty or smart or funny. There's no way he can like you, so don't waste your time. _I thought to myself forcefully. Though the memo didn't seem to reach to the butterflies tickling my stomach. "Hey." I said in a weak voice; suddenly deflated, knowing that my thoughts were true. "Whoa. Are you okay?" he asked looking even more concerned then Alice had in the car. It made me feel a little warmer on the inside. "Yeah." I said through my hoarse voice. "Come one Bella!" Alice said grabbing my arm and pulling my up the stairs, brushing past Edward. "It's make over time." She said with a look of pure glee. I looked over my shoulders at Edward.

He shrugged, a smirk on his face. I sighed deeply. I let Alice drag me up the stairs, stopping on the second floor. When we got to the last step, we walked into a open hallway, both ends had windows for walls; letting the sun shine in and lighten the area. The hall was painted a soft cream color and had two doors on each wall. Alice led me to the second door on the left. She pointed to each door as we past them. "That's Emmett's room, that's Jasper's," She said pointing to the doors on the right. "That's Carlisle and Esme's room," She pointed to the first door on the left. "And this is Rosalie's and mine!" She said happily opening up the last door. The room was painted a light blue and had a circular bed set in the middle of the room with a white comforter. The dresser and vanity were painted white, along with the closet door.

"Come on sit down!" Alice said excitingly, pulling me up to the vanity and settling me down on a cushioned stool. I looked at the impressive amount of different name brand products Alice had splayed across the top of the vanity. She had several different kinds of hair muses and sprays, four different kinds of brushes, and then she had make-up of every sort. All this made me swallow loudly. Alice leaned over my left shoulder and flipped on a little switch that was on the side of the mirror and six light bulbs that I hadn't noticed before turned on. I looked up and cringed inwardly. I hadn't noticed the mirror in front of me, but now, with the lights lighting up the space; I could clearly see the mirror, which I was sitting in front of.

I felt like bolting from the seat and rushing out of the house. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't like seeing myself in general. I hated seeing myself and the way I looked. And with these lights shining on my face I could see every side and angle of my face. I could see every blemish and imperfection. It made me sick to my stomach.

Alice clapped her hands together. "Okay!" She sounded far too excited about this. "Let's see, what to do first?"

For the next hour Alice went crazy on my hair and make up. And I was doing okay. I sat as she brushed my hair over and over again, adding some creams and things every now and then. I let her add blush to my cheeks and even let her put mascara on me. I had done this so many times before, I was almost used to it. I let her do everything she wanted without complaint. Until it was time to get dressed. I _thought_ I was just going to change into something I had bought today. But when Alice handed me the hanger holding the thing I was supposed to change into, and shoved me into the bathroom, I started shaking my head. "Alice. No. I told you I didn't want to buy this." I said looking into the 360 mirror in horror. "Bella you looked awesome in it! It was my favorite thing you tried on today!" Alice said through the door. "Now open up so I can see it again!"

Groaning I opened the door and sighed as I leaned against the bathroom door. Alice looked at me, her palms were pressed together and were held in front of her mouth. "You look beautiful." She said, her eyes sparkling. "I knew it when you tried it on. So keep it on." She insisted. I looked in the mirror at myself again. My hair was straight and down, falling well past midway down my back. I had light make up on. The dress is what scared me. It was a yellow with small pink polka dots dress that ended too far above the knee for my liking. It was sleeveless, with two, one and a half inch straps coming up from the sides and tieing at the back of my neck. It was made of soft cotton, tight around my chest and middle before falling loosely around my hips and thighs. Really it was adorable. But did it really fit me? Did I really look good in it? No way. I'm way too fat to be in a dress like this. This is a dress that Alice would look great in. But me?

No.

I'm just looked fat.

"You look great Bella." She said with a warm smile. "All you need now is a pair of shoes." She said and headed back into her room. I glanced once more back in the mirror, cringed and then followed Alice. I walked in and saw her rummaging through the bags of clothes we bought today. "Here we go!" She said emerging from the bags holding a cute pait of pink flats. She handed them to me and I slipped them on. She looked me up and down and smiled in approval. Now come on, let's go down stairs." She said opening her door. I followed her through the large house. As I entered the kitchen, which was very nice indeed; though looking at the rest of the house one would expect no less. It was defiantly redone though, with new stove and cabinets. A woman who looked to be in her mid to late thirty's was cooking at the stove. "Hey Esme, I almost forgot. This is Bella." Alice introduced us. "Oh hello Bella! I'm Esme. I have heard so much about you." She said giving me a hug, I stiffened in surprise at the warm greeting. But I quickly recovered. "Oh, really? I didn't think Alice would talk about me all that much." Suddenly thoughts flew through my head. What did Alice say? I bet it was all bad. There's nothing good about me. Had she mentioned anything about my bad style? Or about my weight?

"Actually it's Edward that talks the most about you." Esme told me. I felt a warm feeling settle in the pit of my stomach and my heart skipped a beat. What was this feeling that I felt about him? It was rather startling. But I didn't have time to find out because Edward came into the room. It's so very strange what happens when I see him.

It's like, all of a sudden, everything is okay. And I feel different when he is around. I just haven't figured out what that feeling is. "Please, mom, don't." Edward said looking a bit embarrassed. his eyes flickered when he looked at me and he caught my eyes. He stayed there for a moment while Esme and Alice talked. I couldn't tell you what about though, because I was staring at him. And he was staring back. I wasn't sure why, but I couldn't look away. His eyes were darker than normal, dark and intense, forest green. My heart picked up speed as we stared at each other. Again he seemed to be looking right past my face, past the mask I was wearing and right at me. The real me. The one even I am scared of. The only thing that interrupted our...whatever was happening, was when a man walked between us and Alice shrieked.

"Jasper? I thought you were working tonight?" She almost screamed. "Well, I thought I would surprise you and take you out on a date." He said in a deep southern accent. He was tall, very lean and had thick dirtly blond hair on his head. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt and blue jeans. Alice stood on her tippy toes and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Where are we going?" She asked, hooking her arm through his, as they walked out of the kitchen. I watched with amusement as she walked right past me without a second glance. I laughed to myself at how easily Alice had forgotten about me when Jasper walked in. I turned back to the rest of the room, Esme was turned back to the stove and Edward was smiling brightly. "I guess you're stuck with me." Edward said with a happy grin. I smiled at him effortlessly. "I guess I am." This feeling in me was really weird. I mean I actually felt like smiling. Like actually smiling. A genuine smile, not like the ones that I seemed to be wear most days. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled when it wasn't forced.

"Oh Bella. Your dad called earlier and we invited him over for dinner. He should be here soon." Esme said sweetly. "Oh okay." I replied; wondering what Charlie would think about my new dress. I had never worn anything like this when I was around him. This would probably give him a heart attack.

Edward took a step towards me. "Do you wanna go watch TV or something?" Edward asked. Not sure whether or not my tongue would work enough to form words I just nodded my head and followed him into the living room where he sat down on the couch. He patted the spot next to him and I sat there.

Edward smile at me and using the remote he turned on the TV, Criminal Minds was on. "Is this okay?" He asked. I just nodded; I honestly didn't care what we watched, I wasn't sure I would be able to watch the screen with him sitting next to me. As it turned out we didn't really watch the TV anyway. We mostly just talked. "So if you could, could you please tell me about your family? It's just kinds confusing, I mean when were all you guys adopted and stuff." I told him. "Yeah I bet it is. Um okay well it's a long story." He told me hesitantly.

"The best ones always are." I said with a shrug.

"Okay well, when Emmett was about 9 his parents died in a car crash. So he came to live with Esme and Carlisle who were around 25 or something. Esme is his aunt. Well, then when Emmett was about 13 I came along. I was 7 at that time. Esme just had a heart to adopt so she got me." He said, not looking me in the eyes as he did, obviously not telling the whole story. I wanted to ask him about it, but I knew that if he didn't want to tell me something about himself, that was his right. I knew that better than anyone. "So then, about a year later Esme really wanted a girl so she found Rosalie. Well Rosalie and Jasper are twins so she took in both of then. They were both 11 years old. And then, finally after Rosalie begged for a sister for a year Esme and Carlisle got Alice when she was 8. So there you have it. Emmett is 25 and he is engaged to Rosalie who is 22. And Alice who is 18 is dating Jasper who is 22. And then you have me. I'm 19." He said sighing after he said it all. "Wow. Esme and Carlisle seem like awesome parents."

"You have no idea." He said softly, his face softening. "Their the best people I know." He said, his voice full of love and admiration. There was a story behind all that, I know there is. "But what about your family?" he asked.

"Oh. Well, when I was only months old my parents split up. Now my mom is remarried and my dad is living by himself. My family isn't as exciting as yours." We laughed.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing." He said with a chuckle.

After that we fell into a comfortable conversation, just talking about all sorts of things. He asked me question after question ranging from what my favorite color is, to what I love to eat, to my boyfriends.

"What about your favorite book?" He asked leaning farther into the couch.

I laughed lightly. "What?" He asked, his face confused, though his eyes sparkled.

"You shouldn't have asked that one." I told him. "I love books! If there is one thing in this world I absolutely love to do, it's reading."

Edward looked surprised. "Wow. I think that is the first time I have heard you so adamant about something."

I shrugged, my face starting to warm. "Yeah, a good book is like my drug. I just can't get enough." Edward laughed. The sound warmed my stomach.

We talked a little more about books, though I never did give him a answer. I did tell him about my fascination with Jane Austin and how I thought all the older authers were the one who really knew how to write. But in the end I still couldn't give him the title to my favorite book, because I wasn't sure what it was; which is what I ended up telling him.

We moved onto other questions. He seemed a little surprised when I told him I had never had a boyfriend. "Maddie was the one who always had the boyfriends. she actually had two boys fight over her. It was so funny 'cause she didn't even like either of them." I said laughing at the memory.

But as I laughed I thought, how is it I can talk and laugh about Maddie, only when I am around Edward?

That night was actually fun. Charlie came over and we ate meat loaf. I had been right about the dress freaking out Charlie though. He had walked in after Edward opened the door and when they had walked into the living room, where I was waiting for them, Dad just stared at me with an open mouth. It had taken him a few moments to get over it and give me a hug before he was able to let himself be led into the dinning room where dinner was waiting. We talked and had fun. Dinner past by easily, everyone talking, telling stories and just having a good time. I sat next to Edward durring dinner and when we moved to the living room, I ended up next to him on the love seat. I spent the whole night by Edward. We talked quietly to one another while our parents talked about other things and Edward picked up right where we left off before dinner, asking me question after question. It was a good night, and I didn't throw up.

Charlie and I road home in a comfortable silence. We had just walked into the house when dad finally spoke up. "Hey Bella, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked just as I was heading for the stairs. "Yeah dad." I said turning around at the base of the steps. "You seem to like it here." He commented. "I mean I haven't seen you smiling like that since.." Charlie paused and looked down at the ground. "...I'm just saying I think this place, and the people in it, is a good thing for you." He finished softly. I knew immediately what he wanted, and it made me feel a little bad for what I had to say next.

"I have to go home Dad. I can't leave mom there." I said trying to think up a better excuse. "Bella. You know that's not why you want to go back." Again he paused, only this time he was looking right at me. He looked hesitant, like he wasn't sure what to say next. He sighed. "Bells, she's not coming back." He said in a small voice. My heart start to beat a million times per-second. "You don't know that." I said in a small voice. I knew that was a dumb thing to say. Even I knew that she wasn't coming back. I had seen her, I had watched her lifeless body get taken away. I knew, but I wished I didn't. "Bells. Yes I do. I saw her body." I closed my eyes and tried to keep the tears back, and my food in. Though I wasn't sure how well that was going to work for me, my stomach was doing some really weird things and I could feel the beginnings of uncomfort I felt when I had food in my stomach."You know it too." I turned and ran up the stairs. I ran into my room, shutting and locking the door behind me. Then I grabbed some covers and slid under the bed. Curling into a little ball, I pulled the comforter close around my body and held my knees to my chest. I couldn't let those memories come back. I tried to remember Maddie's face, but all I saw was the last time I saw the face of my best-friend; bloody, cut up, broken.

That night was a good night; when I was with Edward. I got to think of Maddie and not feel sad, or sick; when I was with Edward. I smiled and had fun; when I was with Edward. That night, I cried myself to sleep; because I was not with Edward.

**A/N Hey hey hey! Long time no write...So sorry about that. It took forever. Anyway I am very very excited about this chapter. I hope y'all liked it. Please please please review! They mean the world to me and they help me! um, I changed the rating to T because I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I mean, I'm over her in my twisted mind writing about a girl with a dark past who is depressed and Bulimic. Oh the things I think up...Anyway! It is summer time in my part of the world. But for a homeschooler that doesn't mean I have more time, it means I have less time to write. Anyway, everyone PLEASE give a big thanks to Vinetta-Venture our Beta Reader who always does a amazing job at Betaing my story. So thats it...Please review!**

**-Esmefan1-Elissa.  
**

**Hey everyone! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Again both EsmeFan1 and I both worked really hard on this chapter and would love to know what you guys think! So please read and review. Anywho hoped you liked it, have a great day/night! God Bless!**

**Vinetta-Venture**


	6. Maddie

_I opened my eyes to see fog. Not the kind I was used to seeing, because this time, I wasn't in an alley or a street. I was in a huge white place. Everywhere I looked it was white. It was weird, and scary. White fog covered every inch of the place and I couldn't see anything besides white. It was so unnatural for there to be such a lack of color. _

_"Where's Maddie?" I heard a whisper, of what sounded like a scared man from behind me. I turned around fast; only to be met with more white nothingness. _

"_Maddie?" I heard the aching cry again. I heard it over and over in all directions. I was staring to panic. I was breathing heavily, and I couldn't seem to make myself stop; tears started to form in my eyes. "I'm right here!" I heard someone yell. I turned to the sound. Suddenly I was somewhere else completely. The whiteness around me started moving and meshing with other colors. At first all I could see was swirls of color, it reminded me of when a painter was in the middle of mixing two different paints to make a new color. Then suddenly the colors formed into shapes and buildings. _

_I was in the alley._

_I saw Maddie's lifeless body on the ground and a man kneeling over her. He was crying. "She's here! Oh god.." He called out. My feet stayed where they were, for this was a scene that was not new to me. "Help me! I didn't mean to…" But his words were all new. "I didn't mean to! I didn't- I-"_

_Then the man moved his head and looked at me, though I could not see his face. And in a completely different voice he said, "Why so afraid child? You might be able to save her." It was a more evil voice; one that made the hair on my arms stand up.. "I-I-" I couldn't talk. I couldn't breath. Then suddenly the man was gone. Vanished like a vapor of fog._

"_Why didn't you save her?" The voice of the evil man said right by my right ear, but I couldn't stop from looking at Maddie to see who was saying it. "She's gone. There was nothing I could have done." I repeated what the doctors told me. _

"_But she was your best friend. You let her die. It should have been you." The voice kept telling me. I fought back the tears as my mind raced. I tried to move, to get away from the voice, but I just couldn't. "It wasn't my fault." I said in a small voice. "Yes it was!" The voice yelled in my ear. "She died because you let her! It was all your fault!" The voice kept saying. _

"_No! No! No!" I yelled back! Suddenly my feet felt light again and I ran over to Maddie. I knelt down by her lifeless body and held her close__ to me. "Maddie? Please Maddie I need you!" I looked behind me to see the man walk away while saying, __"you could have stopped this." ****  
_

I shot up in my bed. Darkness of the night surrounded me. I tried brushing my tangled hair out of my face, but when I tried, my hands were shaking so bad all I succeeded in doing was knocking more hair into my eyes. My whole body was trembling'; and I couldn't make it stop. "Just a dream. It was just a dream." I said in a shaking voice as I laid back down. But it wasn't just a dream. It was a nightmare. But this one was so much different. I had always had the same dream, never differing in any detail; but this one was completely different. At first, he seemed sad. He acted like someone had forced him to kill Maddie; but then he became is normal self, and blamed me. My heart beat a million miles a second. "It's okay. It wasn't you fault. You're not the one who killed her." I said while I closed my eyes shut. I tried to get that terrible voice out of my head, the one that kept repeating, 'you could have stopped this'. But I couldn't, because, somewhere in the back of my mind I believed him.

I wanted to sleep more; I really needed to get more sleep, it was far too early for me to have gotten enough, but with my luck, I would have more nightmares. I needed to go home. I needed to see my mom. She always knew how to cheer me up. She could always make me feel better. Sighing I sat up in bed, knowing there was no way that I was actually going to get anymore sleep and noticed the sun was just peeking through the window of my room.

For a while I just sat on my bed; doing my best not to think. Though I am not sure how well that really worked. Because every couple minutes or so my mind kept going back to home and mom. I could imagine what she would say, what she would do, I were with her right now. But I also found myself wondering, 'what would I be doing if I was home'? I would probably look for a summer job. But then again, so would every other teen between the ages of 16-19. There would have been a likely chance that I wouldn't have been able to find one. So if I didn't, I would have just been sitting around at the house; having nothing to occupy my mind with. And so that meant I would most likely have spent my whole summer thinking about Maddie. Maybe it was a good thing that I came here. Maybe. At least now I didn't have all day to let my mind wonder.

My thoughts traveled down this ally for a while before I caught myself. NO! Being here was not a good thing! I need to go home. Nodding my head in conformation I forced my thoughts onto another topic.

Monday. I forced myself to think about the pros and cons of this day. This could be a good or a bad thing. Bad; because I actually have to try to act like I'm happy. Because, the kids at the hospital didn't need someone there that was in just as much darkness as them. They needed someone who could help them through and see the light. To help them up; not bring them down farther.

Good; because of Edward. It's Monday so I will be going to the hospital to work with him. This was defiantly not a bad thing. If I let myself be honest with myself I really did enjoy my job and the people I worked with. Though most of these feeling are towards the Cullens. Even though Alice is a little over the top and Emmett is sometimes a little slow at times. They were all really nice and were easy to be around.

And then of course there is Edward. He is, well he…I am not exactly sure how to describe him. He is nice, sweet, unbelievable with the children, and of course he is, in his own manly way, beautiful.

I sat in bed, my back leaning against the wall watching the sun rise, for what seemed like forever, letting these thoughts lead my brain; mainly because they were safe; when I heard my name. "Bella!" Charlie yelled from down stairs. I groaned as I walked out of my bedroom and down the stairs.

"Yeah?" I asked trying to wake myself up. Charlie was sitting on the couch when I reached the last step, his elbows braced against his knees, looking deep in thought.  
"We need to talk before I go to work." He said in his serious voice. I was nervous, he rarely used his serious voice and when he did it usually wasn't a good thing. "Okay" I said waiting, I had frozen on the bottom step after seeing my father's tense stance. My mind was going crazy. What does he want? Is this about last night? Is he sending me home?

He took a deep breath. Did I do something wrong? Did he heard me yell in my sleep? "Bella, I think you should sit down before we start." Yep, definitely not good. Slowly I walked up to the end of the couch and sat down on the edge the seat. Taking another deep breath and avoiding eye contact he began softly. "I talked to your mother last night." He said staring at his hands. "And we decided. You're staying here."

….. My mind went blank. I knew I heard what Charlie had said, but it was like the words didn't have any meaning and just seemed to float around in my head.

Then it raced back to a hundred miles an hour. I jumped from my seat. "WHAT?" I yelled. No, no, no, no! "No! I-I can't! You can't make me stay!" I yelled. My heart was beating faster then it ever had before.

"Bella. It's for the best. This change is good for you. Forks is good for you. I'm good for you. And, it seems like Edward Cullen is good for you too." Huh? "What?" What did he have to do with this?

"Bella, I talked to Angela. She told me about how you act around him, around his family. It's good for you." He insisted. I was shaking my head before he was finished. What was he talking about? I don't act different around Edward. Do I? "No! No, no, no! You can't do this! She needs me Charlie!" I yelled at him. I had to make his understand.

"Bella, Maddie is gone!" He said softly, sadly. "There is nothing you can do for her. Her dad even left. It's been good for him. It'll be good for you to get away."

"No! Her- her dad left because- he- It's not the same! I have to go back." I said sitting back down. Oh, Mr. Shawn. I had almost forgotten about him. He was like my other dad. I could remember how he had looked when we were at the wake. He had been so miserable. Had he really left? Sure I hadn't seen him in a while; but leave? Could he really have left Maddie behind?

"Bella, your therapist-"

"Is screwed. The guy thinks I hate Maddie for leaving me. He doesn't know anything." I huffed at his stupidity. I never once hated Maddie. Stupid therapist. Ever since mom had sent me to him, the man had over and over again shown how little he knew about the human mind. Or at least mine.

Charlie got on his knees in front of me and took my hands in his. "Isabella. Please, just try it." He said. I could see the hurt in him. Maybe he was right….No!

"What's the date?" I asked. "May 26th." How did the time pass this fast? Maddie's anniversary of her death is June 18th. It was almost impossible to believe!

"I will stay until June 15th. Then I am going home." I said looking him in the eyes. I have to be back by then. He could not keep me here.

"You can go back to visit Maddie's grave. But then you will come home." He said seriously, making sure I didn't miss the fact that he called Forks my home.

I nodded my head in agreement, but I had no intention on keeping that promise. I would leave on June 15, and will not come back.

He stood up straight proud of himself, I'm sure. He walked towards the door to leave; taking his belt that had his gun strapped to it from it's hook beside the door and buckling it to his waist as he said. "Edward will pick you up at 8. I will call to make sure you got there. I'll pick you up there at 5 and we are going to go to the Blacks for dinner." He said before he opened the door. He turned halfway out the door and looked at me. He looked as though he were going to say something, his eyes sad, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Sighing he turned and left.

As soon as the door shut and I saw Charlie get into his cruiser I slid down the couch 'til I was lying on my back and folded my arms angrily over my chest. I wanted to scream. I let the anger I had been penning up while Charlie had been talking burst inside me. I let the anger flood over me and let it lead my mind where it wanted.

How had this happened? I was supposed to be here for two weeks. I felt the anger get stronger in my mind.

Charlie was being stubborn, but I can be even more stubborn. There is nothing in this small green town that could make me want to be here. No, I would go back. I nodded my head, finalizing this statement in my mind. I stayed where I was for a moment, not really sure what to do. My mind went black for a moment.

And then the anger ebbed away; I was filled with sadness. Maddie, I thought, what is my life worth anymore?

I wasn't even sure there was an answer to that question anymore.

Biting back tears I sank farther into the couch. Then I was back to the night it happened. **

"Oh Bells, you should really listen to you dad more. He's only trying to help." Maddie told me as we painted our nails in her bed room. She sat on her window seat, putting on a second coat of red to her toes; while I sat on the fuzzy rug in the middle of the room applying my second coat of gold to mine.

"You don't understand Maddie. He sees me like twice a year and thinks that we have some sort of great relationship. He barely knows me." I said sighing as I recapped the nail polish. "Bella, your dad tries. At least you have that. My mom wont even acknowledge my existence." She said admiring her foot she had just finished painting. "Yeah. Well, at least we have each other, right?" I said smiling at my best friend. "Yeah." She said smiling back. I started painting my last nail. "Maddie, why did your mom leave?" I asked a little scared of what she would say. Maddie wasn't one to share her feelings.

"She didn't want me. She married my dad because he had money, then when she got prego she bailed." She sighed. "She ran away, and once she had me, she just gave me to my dad. I see her from time to time now, but she doesn't act like I'm her daughter. She just acts like I'm some annoying kid hanging around her. So, I gave up. I mean, who needs her anyway right? I got you." She said smiling at me again; though I could see the hurt that she had buried somewhere deep inside her. And I didn't blame her. No matter how close we were, I would never be able to replace the huge whole her mother had left in Maddie's life.

"Yeah. Hey lets go see a movie!" I said trying to get our minds on to something else. "Perfect." She said smiling at me in relief, she never was one to talk about her feelings. **

I stopped my memories there. I didn't think I could go through that new dream twice. Blinking my heavy eyelids I made my way upstairs to get ready for work. I just can't see this day getting any better, I thought with a sigh.****

As I finished eating my scrambled eggs I heard a knock at the door. I put my dishes in the sink and went to open the door. Edward stood behind the door in all his beauty. He wore skinny jeans and a gray v-neck shirt. I quickly looked down at myself. I wore blue faded jeans and a blue t-shirt. I felt unsure of myself suddenly, which was an odd feeling for me. Because I stopped caring how I looked a while ago.

He smiled his crooked smile that made my stomach do weird things. "Hello."

"Hi." I smiled back. I couldn't help myself. Something about him, made me forget everything. Made me unable to remember why I had been thinking so sad just minutes before. "Ready?" He asked. I nodded and followed him to his Volvo. I stayed about a full step behind him and found myself watching him from behind. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to see me from this angle. Even his walk was perfect.

_Wait, did I purposefully walk behind him so I could watch him? _I thought to myself as we reached the car and he opened my door for me. I was too scared of the answer to actually let my mind answer.

After closing my door, Edward jogged around the front of the car and smoothly slipped into his seat. We were flying down the road seconds later. "How was your night?" He asked, meeting my eyes with his beautiful deep green ones for a second before turning them back onto the road. But even in that half a moment, my stomach had enough time to do a flip. I could tell he really wanted to know. I did my best to make my lie sound true. Because, even if it was a lie, I wanted to tell him how my night had went. "It was good." I could tell he saw right through it though. He looked at me, scrutinizing my face. "For some reason I don't believe that." he mumbled under his breath, knowing that I would hear him.

"How was your night?" I asked quickly, trying to get the subject off me.

He sighed. "Not too good. Esme is really….emotional right now. She always is this time of year. But more so with the quart dates coming up." He said blatantly, opening right up to me. This confused me. How could he possibly tell me something like that. We had only known each other for a couple weeks now! I may not know what the quart dates are about, but I was sure that it was something personal. Something you don't tell just anyone.

"Why did you tell me that?" I couldn't help myself from asking. Most people, like myself, would just say their night was okay and move on to a different topic. I was finding out quickly though, that Edward was not like most people. Actually he was nothing like anybody I had ever met.

"It's called being honest Bella." He said as he put the car in park in front of the Hospital.

"No, that's called inviting strangers into your life. You don't know me, yet you tell me these things. Why?" I couldn't grasp it. He didn't know me, yet it seems as if he trusts me.

"Bella, everyone is a stranger until you let them in. I tell you these things because I want you to know. I don't want you to be a stranger. I want you to be my friend." He said, looking me right in the eyes, as though it was dire that I understand this. There was something in those green eyes that made me want to tell him everything.

There was something so comforting in those eyes. I had never felt so at ease with someone before. Never felt like I could say anything to them and not have to worry about the reaction; because I know whatever I say, he would just take it in stride.

And that scared the crap out of me. I had never once told anyone 'everything'. Sure I told the police what I had seen. But not that it was my idea to go to the movies that night, or that I could have saved her. Edward's sigh brought me out of my train of thought, for that I was grateful. He ran a hand through his hair. "Why?" Was the only thing I could think of to say.

He looked at me in the most serious way. "I don't know yet." As I looked in his eyes, what I saw there surprised me. He honestly didn't know why. Something in him longed to be my friend, but he didn't know why.

We stared at each other for the longest moment, time seemed to stand still as my eyes locked with his, capturing me in such a way I wasn't sure if I wanted to be set free; before he looked away and opened his door.

I sighed as I got out of his car. Something about Edward made me want to tell him everything, but I fought that urge. He would never understand the pain I feel. And how would he react when he found out the whole truth? Sighing I hopped out of the car and followed Edward into the hospital. I had just entered through the double sliding glass doors when I realized something that made me pause.

I had thought, 'when' Edward finds out the truth. Not 'if'. I sighed; that was because somewhere in my mind, I knew that he would one day know. And it would come from my own mouth. I wasn't sure how I knew that. But with his eyes and the ever safe feeling I got around him, I knew I wouldn't be able to help myself. Edward would be the first person I will have ever opened up to, wholly and completely. And I can't let that happen. I truly have got to leave Forks. For good.****

The day passed by rather smoothly and surprisingly quickly. I was really starting to get a rhythm for the place and the people in it. I could now call most of the kids by name. And even though I had only been here a week; no, LESS than a week, I was starting to care about them. It was nice seeing the children, and how Edward was around them. He would surely make a great father one day.

"Edward, why do you love these children so much?" My curiosity was going to get me into trouble one day.

Edward finished shutting the door of Bobby's room before answering. "Because, in a way, I know what they are going through. Darkness is always surrounding them." he said as we walked though the hall.

Then something happened that I will never forget. A woman, who looked to be in her mid thirties, came running into the hospital with a child in her arms. The kid couldn't have been more then 6, but it was hard to tell. The poor boy's green shirt was covered in blood, making it hard to tell what the original color of the shirt was. He also had purple and blue bruises, clearly visible on his arms. He had a bloodily lip and his left eye was swollen shut.

"Help! Oh, God, someone please help me!" The woman begged as she fell to her knees in the middle of the waiting room. Edward ran straight to the woman, and gently lifted the small boy in his arms; relieving the woman from his weight. He carefully put the kid on a gurney as nurses came swarming from all around. Carlisle also heard the commotion and poked his head out of a room and ran to help as well.

"What happened?" Edward asked in his haste to find where all the bleeding was coming from.

"I don't know! I found the boy behind the school." The woman said between sobs. She was obviously a school teacher, from her name tag which had the Fork's elementary school logo above her name. After a quick order from Carlisle the nurses rolled the boy off towards the emergency room. Edward turned and looked at me for the shortest second before he went in after them.

I watched Edward's back as he disappeared behind a corner; his face burned into my mind. It was recognition. It was in his eyes, something in his eyes seemed to answer all my questions. He knew what some of these kids were going through, and the only way to know that, to truly understand what had happened to this kid; was because he had went through it too.

"No, Carlisle the kid was abused! It's all over his body!" Edward yelled at Carlisle in his office. I was standing outside Dr. Cullen's office along with some nurses. The boy's surgery went well, but now they had a small child unclaimed. Carlisle had come out of surgery, still wearing his green scrubs, with a look of complete tiredness. Edward had followed right behind him, a glazed look covering his face; as though he was thinking very hard on something, or not thinking at all. Carlisle had gone right to his office, Edward still following him. For the first minute it had been completely silent, but that had not lasted. Soon I could hear everything that was being said. I had thought about leaving, I didn't want to ease drop, but I couldn't get the boys face out of my head. I needed to know if he was going to be alright. I needed to know what was going to happen to him now. So I took a seat in one of the four chairs that lined the wall outside of his office. "We don't know that Edward. There is no proof."

"No proof? Did you not see the hand marks on his arms? And the fact that he looks like he hasn't eaten in days, if not weeks!" Edward yelled back. Then, he said so low I almost didn't hear, "I should know." My heart sank as I heard this. Who could possibly hurt a child? "Edward calm down. We don't know anything yet. But I will call Chief Swan. I'll get him down here and take a look at the boy." Then in a much lower voice, Carlisle said, "I will not let this boy go back to his home if what you say really is waiting for him there." They then started talking so low I could not hear; only the mumblings of what was being said. My thoughts were all over the place. What really happened to this little boy? Why is Edward more concerned about this then Carlisle? I felt my heart ache as I thought of the reasons. I was startled when Edward opened the door to Carlisle's office and I could see the hurt and pain in his eyes. He looked at me for a moment before walking past me, down the hall. I followed him. I don't know why, but I felt the need to comfort him.

He went into a empty patient's room and sat on the couch, that was in each room for a family member to sleep on during the patient's stay. He put his head in his hands, bracing his elbows on his knees and sighed. I shut the door behind me, then went to sit beside him. It wasn't until then that I really thought about what I was doing and realized that I had no idea what to do. He then put his hands on his legs and laid back into the seat and stared up at the ceiling. I felt the urge to hold him, to comfort him, but I was afraid. It had been such a long time since I had felt this before. I wasn't sure how to react to it.

Gathering all my courage I reached out and grabbed his hand in mine. As soon as our hands made contact, Edward sat straight up and looked at me. We stared at each other-which we seem to be doing a lot lately- and he sighed. I looked down at our hands. "You can tell me, you know. If you want to." I said softly; hoping he didn't think that I was being nosy. But I knew he knew what I meant. He looked into my eyes and I could see the pain. "Let's just say, I know what that boy is going through." He said, his jaw tight. "You can run from the pain, but the scars, the scars will always be there."

Edward and I sat there for a long time, not talking, just sitting. I didn't know what to say. But maybe not saying anything would be best. I know there were a lot of times that mom came and tried talking to me about what had happened; when all I wanted was for her to be there for me.

I sighed to myself, I guess I'm not the only one with a messed up past. There was something in me, something that wanted to comfort him and make him forget about all that happened. My heart ached for him. And I didn't understand it. I knew bad things happened in the world, heck I went through some of the worst. But, for it to happen to _him, _someone so perfect, and beautiful.

"Bella, your dad will be here soon to get you. And I have stuff to do." He said breaking the silence. "Okay." Was all I could say. Nothing in me wanted to move. I was content where I was: sitting next to Edward, holding his hand. But, I had to go. He was right. It was soon to be 5 o'clock, I knew, and Charlie would go crazy if he couldn't find me.

So, I let Edward pull me to my feet by the hand and walk me to the door. As soon as the door was opened he dropped my hand and pressed his hand to my back and gently pushed me out the door.

I watched Edward as he made his way to find Carlisle and I went outside to wait for Charlie. For some reason I felt sad, well more sad than I am normally. I felt like I had a hole in my chest, a hole that wasn't missing a few minutes ago. I missed him? Is that possible? I was just with him, so how can I miss him?

I felt my heart sink as I thought of us holding hands. My hand felt so empty now, I closed my eyes and shook the thoughts out of my head. I can't think of these things.

Why is this guy making me feel this way? He's making me feel…happy. That's wrong. No he can't do that. I don't even know him that well! He has a past that I know nothing of. Yet, so do I. But still, I must stop thinking of these things. Edward can be my friend, maybe, but nothing more. No matter how much I want it. Because he will never like me back. Why would he? I'm not good enough. I will never be good enough.

Charlie drove up in his cruiser pulling me away from my thoughts. I got in.

"So how was your day?" He asked. Should I tell him the truth? Tell him about the small boy, and about Edward, and how I feel around him? "It was fine." With my less then truthful answer Charlie sped off. I would let Carlisle explain everything to him.

I sat in the passenger's seat, glad that Charlie didn't ask anything else and so we could ride in silence.

Next stop, Billy Black's house.

***Peeks head out of cave * Hey...I know, I haven't updated in a while. Sorry about that. I hope you all read my Authors Note I put up. I just got this back from my Beta (Vinetta-Venture) Be sure to give her thanks. Um, please go to my profile and vote on my poll! I'm thinking about changing the name of this story. So please go vote on a different name, or if you want it to stay the same, THANK YOU guys for reading! I promise to update more often. PLEASE review. I LOVE reviews. They keep me living. Thanks again every one! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)**

**-Esmefan1-Elissa.  
**


	7. Jake and 20 questions

**A/N I AM BACK! Okay, so our Beta Vinetta-Venture AKA Vinny, and I have been working on this for the past month or so. Today, even though the chapter we weren't done yet, we realized that the chapter was already more than 20,000 words long! So, instead of post a very large chapter, we have decided to post 2 or 3 average size chapters. So, this is the first one! Also, I am so sorry that it's been a whole freaking year since we updated! I'm so so so so so sorry! Don't hate me! But, here we go! Also, you may want to go back and re-read the other chapters, to refresh your memory. :) So at last; Here we go!**

_"Bella? Honey you okay?" Mom asked opening the door of my bedroom. I was curled up in a ball in the corner of my room. My head was laid on my knees, hair covering my face; hiding me from the world. My eyes were red and dry from hours of crying. "Bella Honey, it's time." mom said knelling down in front of me. I just shook my head. Going to my best friends funeral was never on my list of things to do before I die. _

_"Honey, Shawn won't start without you and people are waiting." She said, carefully taking my hands, as though she were afraid that any sudden movement would shatter me, and helped me to my feet. I took one last look in the mirror on the way out. My eyes were red, my hair was in one straight braid, with lose strands framing my face. I wore a black dress that went to my knees._

_As we walked to the front of the sanctuary everyone looked at me as if thinking, "Oh it's the dead girl's best friend." My stomach curled. I went to the front and sat beside Mr. Shawn. He looked at me, with red eyes as well, and nodded once. We looked up to the screen up front, as they played videos and pictures of Maddie. I heard a few people break out sobbing during the videos. I couldn't even look at the screen. I couldn't look at Maddie's dad, I just couldn't. _

_Then everyone started going to see her casket. I wasn't sure if I had it in me to go see Maddie. Not all pale, and lifeless. The last time I saw her lifeless body, her murderer was running away. Angela who had flown up from Forks came to me. I looked at her and she knew that this was why she came. She reached out and grabbed my hand and lead me to Maddie's casket. _

_They put her in her favorite dress, the white one with pink rose's on the end. And her hair curled, and beautiful like always. Tears I didn't know I still had came up to the surface. Angela's hand squeezed my hand tight. "I'll give you a moment" she said and then walked away. I looked at my best friend. I noticed the necklace around her neck, the one with small orange butterfly. I looked down at my necklace, the small blue one. Our friendship necklaces. "Oh Maddie." I whispered as tears fell down my cheeks. "I can't do this without you." I reached over and touched her cold hand and tears overflowed. _

_I went over to Mr. Shawn and gave him a hug. "She loved you so much." He whispered in my ear. Tears spilled from my eyes. Then, I saw in the very back of the room, was Maddie's Mom. Why on earth is she here? I wanted to walk up to her, to confront her. She hated Maddie._

"_Bella, don't. I told her she could come." Mr. Shawn told me. I looked around the large room, saw people crying, hugging, and sulking. "She loved you more than anything" I told Mr. Shawn. And with tears that couldn't possibly still be there, I hugged him. ***_

* * *

"Bella? Did you hear me?" Charlie asked as I stared out the window of his cruiser.

"Oh, I'm sorry what?" I asked. I had been so deep in my memories I didn't even realize he was saying anything at all.

"I asked if you remembered that Billy was in a wheelchair." He said. I had a small memory of when dad told me this a few years ago.

"Oh, yeah." I said nodding my head.

I really didn't want to go to Billy's for dinner. For some reason, I found myself wishing I was going to Edward's house instead to eat dinner. Wanting to hold his hand again. I tried shaking the thought out of my head, but I just couldn't. Edward was different. There was something about him, something that made my heart do weird things.

I was so caught up in my thoughts I barely noticed when we pulled into Billy Blacks drive way. Memories flashed through my head as I looked at the familiar house. It was old, the Black's had lived in this house for several generations. But it wasn't the kind of old you thought would fall apart with the slightest gust of wind, more like a homey kind of old. The house was made of wood and was one story. I could remember Jake and I climbing in the tree next to the house and from there jumping onto the roof. I could also remember the days we spent in Jake's shed out back, which was barely visible from the driveway. The front door opened before we even got up the cluttered porch. A guy stood there with long dark hair and a perfect white smile against his tan skin. He looked to be about two years younger then me, and I realized immediately that he was Jacob, Uncle Billy's one and only son.

"Charlie! Bella!" He exclaimed in excitement. His eyes grazed over my dad before landing and staying on me, his smile huge. I think he was little more excited to see me than Charlie.

"Bring them in Jake!" I heard a man yell from in the house.

"Right right. Come on." He said still smiling.

It was a little weird and sad for me. I had known the Blacks practically all my life. I grew up with them. But I hadn't seen either of them in the past two years. I mean Charlie told me that Uncle Billy was in wheelchair and everything… But it was so weird to actually see. When I first stepped into the house I froze for a second. He was just sitting there in his chair, hair pulled back in it's usual braid, crows feet around his eyes, and easy smile. But he wasn't standing, couldn't stand. The sight brought unexpected tears to my eyes which I quickly blinked away.

I quickly got over it though, this was his life style now, he didn't need somebody acting weird about it. So I accepted it. It took a little time, but as we sat around the dinning room table eating Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry I was able to get over my sadness for Billy and really enjoy the evening.

After helping clear the table dad and Billy went into the small living room and watched some basket ball game, leaving Jake and I to do the dishes.

"So how've you been?" Jake asked, taking a dripping plate from my hand and drying it. "I mean really?"

I shrugged. Jake knew me so well. I sometimes wondered if I was just an open book to him. We'd known each other for so long, he probably knew my every expression. And even though I hadn't told Jake the whole truth about my depression or about my bulimia; he knew I was hiding some things from him.

"I'm doing okay." I said and was surprised to realize that it was almost true.

"Really?" He asked looking at me hard, as if trying to look for any signs that I was lying.

I nodded. "Yeah. So how are things with you?" I asked, hoping we would stop talking about me.

Jake looked like he wanted to challenge me on my changing the subject, but instead he sighed and said. "Okay fine. I have been pretty good. Rachel and Rebecca are doing really good too. Rachel is still in Washington for Marine Biology and is loving every millisecond of it. And Rebecca is now married to Brad Michel and they are living in Hawaii."

"Rebecca got married?" I asked shocked. "When did that happen?" I hadn't really been all that close to either of Jake's older sisters, but I was close to Jake, I would have thought I would have at least been invited.

"About a year and a half ago." Oh. That's when I was in rehabilitation. "She was upset that you couldn't make it, but she understood. Under the circumstances." He said, a sad look on his face as he dried another plate.

We fell into an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, which Jake thankfully broke by saying. "So I'm fixing up a new car. Well not new, old really. But new to me."

Glad to be out of the silence I smiled. "Really?" Jake had always loved doing mechanical things. I remembered he once purposely ran his bike off a steep drop and broke it, just so he could fix it.

And that was all the invitation Jake needed and he was off. He started telling about how he got the car, what all he was doing to it, and I just let him ramble even though I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. It was nice, familiar to listen to Jake talk about him fixing something.

Later when we finished the dishes we headed to Jake's room. It looked exactly like I remembered it from the last time I was here. We sat on his bed and leaned against the head board.

"Wow, I would have thought you would have at least hid Captain Oats from view so that the ladies wouldn't see him." I said with a smile picking up the plastic toy horse that stood on his night stand. It had been Jake's favorite toy when he was a boy; probably because his mother had gotten it for him.

Jake snatched the horse out of my hands and I laughed. "I'll have you know that Breanna loves Captain Oats." He told me

"Breanna? And who is Breanna?"

I saw a hint of blush come across his face. "Breanna is a girl,"

"Well I guessed that much." I jabbed in.

Jake rolled his eyes but continued like he hadn't heard anything. "that has shown a great deal of interest in dating me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Nice. And do you reciprocate the feeling?" I asked already knowing the answer by Jake's face.

He gave a sheepish smile. "Yeah."

We talked a little bit more about Breanna and his plans on asking her out on Monday during school. Then the tables turned and Jake asked if I had anyone in particular in my life.

I shook my head no. But as I did my mind went to Edward. I felt heat rise to my face.

"Woah! Hey what was that?" Jake asked with a wide smile. "Somebody's got a secret crush." He accused.

I shook my head more forcefully. "No! No I don't." I exclaimed, trying to convince myself as well as Jake.

Jake held up his hands in surrender. "Fine. You don't want to talk to me about it, your decision. But you need to at least admit it to yourself."

I gave him a look and he wisely dropped the subject and asked about how my mom was doing. I told him how she got remarried and was happily on her honeymoon. I told him how she had recently decided that she wanted to be a home cooking kind of mom and was basically failing at it. Though neither Phil or I had the heart to tell her; so we just suffered through each meal she insisted on making. I also told him how she broke her wrist while learning to play the harp last year. Both of us laughed so hard when I told him, I had trouble finishing the story.

I had just started to ask how school was treating him when Charlie came into Jake's room and announced that it was time to leave. Jake and Uncle Billy walked us out, I gave them both a hug and promised I would visit again soon. As dad and I walked away from the Black's house I decided I was happy I had come. I had forgotten how good a friend Jake was. I had missed him these past two years.

But as dad drove us back home, it wasn't Jacob I was thinking about. It was Edward. No matter what I did, somehow my mind always seemed to be drawn back to him.

On the ride back to the house we spent mostly in silence except for the occasional comment Charlie made on the evening, most of which my only response was to nod.

Edward. That was the first time I had ever really held a boy's hand before. I could still feel a warmth in my hand from where he held it. I also couldn't help but wonder if he was about to tell me something while we were sitting there.

"We're home."

I blinked a few times and sure enough we were. I had so deep into my thoughts about Edward I hadn't even realized. Why was I so wrapped up in him? He had somehow overtaken my brain and my thoughts swarmed around him all the time. Why couldn't I stop thinking about him? Something in the back of my head told me I knew; but I just shook my head and followed Charlie inside.

* * *

Edward's POV

"I pretty much suck at this point." I grumbled as I was sitting on the small couch in my room. Alice, who I was talking to, got up from my bed and came to sit by me.

"You don't suck Eddie. What's wrong?" She asked. Alice was the one and only person I ever let call me that, besides the kids at the hospital.

"I was so close to telling her." I said pausing. I came really close. I had felt the words on my tongue and that was why I had cut our little meeting short. "She held my hand Alice. I _let_ her hold my hand." I turned and looked at my adopted sister in the eyes. "I _wanted _to tell her. I've never wanted to tell anyone before." It scared me to think this. When Bella had reached out for my hand I gladly let her have it. I remember feeling like my world was collapsing around me; then suddenly Bella was there, the skin of her hand brushing against mine. Her delicate fingers gently wrapped themselves around my hand and incased mine in such a warmth; I had never felt anything more wonderful.

"So why didn't you?" Alice asked softly.

I rolled my shoulders and leaned father into the sofa. "I just couldn't." I sighed. I looked down at my hand, the one Bella held, and I longed for her to hold it again.

There was a pause before Alice said. "Edward, you talk to me everyday about how you know something happened in Bella's past, and how you want her to trust you enough to tell you, and how much you want to help. You know, it might help if you trusted her with your secret."

I sighed again, knowing she was right.

"Look I have to go. I'm meeting Jasper at the store." Alice said getting up. She turned around just before she left my room and said. "You know, maybe you shouldn't try to figure out her past, her secrets. Maybe you should just be her friend, and let her tell you when she is ready. Everyone has a past Edward. Sometimes trust doesn't play a part in whether or not we tell someone about it. Sometimes it depends on whether we want to relive it or not." And with that she turned and left.

I sat in the silence of my room, staring up at the ceiling. I started to count all the little dots on my ceiling, something I used to do when I was in foster care. I wondered if Bella ever did this when she was a kid… Why can't I get this girl out of my head? Even while reliving things from my childhood I think of her! Ever since the day I first beheld her beauty she has taken over my thoughts. Sighing I closed my eyes and remembered the day I first saw Bella. The day Rose got hurt, Carlisle and I went to Chief Swans house. And there she was. I noticed her peeking at us from behind the wall. Her brown hair cascade around her oval face perfectly. She probably didn't even realize that she had been caught spying on our conversation. I shook my head. She was all I could think about.

I sat up straight with a sudden realization. Oh I am such a moron! That's it. I finally figured it out. I know why she is invading my head. Why she is all I can think about. Why I can't stand to be without even for a hour. Because I…..

I have to tell Alice! So jumping from my seat I flew through my room and out the door. "ALICE" I yelled running down the stairs as fast as I can. I yelled her name the whole way until I got outside where she was just getting in her car. She looked at me like I was insane.

"What?" She asked pausing half in half out of the car.

I looked at my sister in the eyes and said with so much emotion I wanted to cry and jump and laugh all at the same time. I wanted to act like Alice. It was a weird sensation. "I…I think I like Bella. As more than a friend. Way more than a friend."

At first Alice didn't say anything, she just kept staring at me like I was crazy. The she got out of her car and jumped to me, hugged me around my middle, and cried. "I KNEW it!" She said. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" She said in rhythm of her jumping.

I rolled my eyes at her and gently backed away from her grasp. "Okay you go see Jasper. That was all I wanted to say." I'm not really one for getting excited and jumping like a maniac, so when it actually happens it doesn't last long. Alice smiled widely at me and after saying she 'knew it' yet again, she got in her car and left.

I watched her car disappear down the driveway before turning towards the house. It wasn't until I was on the porch that I realized I had no idea what to do with myself. After a few moments of thinking about it, I decided I needed to talk to Bella. But It was getting late and I didn't want to call her in case I woke her up, so I instead I sent her a text and would go from there.

**Hey Bella. You still up? ~Ed**

I sent it as I was making my way into the living room. I slid my phone into my pocket and saw Rosalie was sitting on the couch reading a book. Having nothing better to do 'til/if Bella texted back I sat next to her.

She glanced up from her book and then back down at the page before deciding to just close the book all together. Rosalie wasn't a big reader, but since the incident she hadn't left the house once yet. So she was left few options in ways to pass the time. And though she and I didn't have the best relationship, I think she rather have me to talk to then read a book all day. So I started telling to her about my day, about the boy that came in, and about Bella. Mostly about Bella. "So, I'm not really sure what I am going to do about Bella." I said as my story telling came to an end.

Rosalie snorted. "Edward, you actually like her?" She asked crinkling her nose. "She is weird. Everyone in this family talks about her like she is some new and exciting toy! It's getting annoying."

Her words hit a cord somewhere in my brain and I fired back. "No, Rose, you're weird. Bella is amazing, kind, caring, beautiful. Just because you're not who we're all are talking about doesn't me you have to be a jerk to someone you don't even know!" I finished in a huff.

It wasn't until I had finished that I saw that Rosalie had a small smile on her face.

"What?" I asked still feeling irritated at Rosalie's words.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

"For what?" I asked momentarily forgetting my frustration and replacing it with confusion

"For acting like you normally do and not trying to be nice just because of what happened."

I sighed and gave her a small smile back. "Anytime."

My phone vibrated then, my heart did a little leap hoping that it was Bella. "I'm gonna go to bed. I'll see you in the morning" I told Rosalie before I headed upstairs. I opened my phone and looked at the text message once I got to my room. It was from Bella!

_**Hey! I'm still awake. Obviously. Haha what's up? ~Bells **_

Feeling rather giddy and a little nervous, I quickly typed my reply.

**Not much. I was just thinking about you a lot and I had kind of a weird question for you if you're up for it. -Ed**

I typed, sitting down on my bed and leaning back against the pillows. My phone vibrated five seconds later.

_**Always! -Bells **_

Smiling to myself I asked. **Great! So you know those little dots on most ceilings? Have you ever tried to count them all? -Ed**

I set my phone on my chest and sighed deeply. Isabella Marie Swan. I easily picture Bella sitting on her bed, propped up like myself against her own head board looking down at her phone and her fingers moving across the keyboard in response.

VVVVVvvvvvv! My phone vibrated on my chest. I picked it up.

_**Of course! But who hasn't done that? The real question is has anyone ever actually been able to do it? -Bells**_

I smiled to myself, a picture forming in my mind of Bella and I standing on my bed and trying to count all the dots on my ceiling.

**I think we should be the first. What do you say? Sometime next week you come over and we tackle the ceiling together? -Ed**

As soon as the message sent I felt a little stupid for saying it. Who would want to spend their time counting a whole bunch of dots? I could just see Bella reading the text and wondering what was wrong with me. I almost dreaded picking up my phone again when it vibrated.

_**Lol! Sounds like an epic idea! -Bells**_

My heart leaped inside my chest! She didn't think I was a moron! I quickly texted back that I was free Wednesday evening. And she replied that was good for her.

We spent the next couple of hours texting back and fourth. But it didn't seem that long; time didn't really seem to pass when I was talking to Bella. All I knew was I didn't want it to end. The more I learned about her the more I wanted to learn! When she told me about being a ballerina when she was ten, I wanted to know how she liked it, why she didn't keep it up, and if she ever wished she had kept it up. Everything she told me, I found myself wanting to know every little detail about it. But Bella wouldn't let it be all about herself either. She asked me questions too. Like how I got along with my adopted brothers and sisters. She asked about my schooling and how I was at the young age of 19 already able to work in a hospital. I enjoyed telling her things about myself; mostly because it meant she wanted to know more about me. So we fell into a rhythm and alternated who got to ask the questions. I didn't even realize how long we had been at it till I glanced over at my clock and saw that it was after 4 in the morning! As soon as I saw the time I sent Bella a message.

**Hey do you realize what time it is? -Ed**

I didn't really want to send Bella the message; because I was pretty sure the second she saw what time it was she would insist on ending our conversation so that she could get to sleep. It would make perfect sense, we both had to be at work in the morning. But even knowing that I would be sleep walking tomorrow as it was, I didn't want to stop talking with her. I was learning so much about Bella, but there was still so much I wanted to know! Like what was being home schooled like when she was in the 5th grade? How many boyfriends has she had? Has she ever done something purely because it was insane? Though I admitted to myself I really wanted to know about previous boyfriends…. What kind of guys was she interested? What did she think of me? My phone vibrated.

_**Oh wow! I hadn't even realized! …you probably need to get some sleep right? :/ -Bells**_

She didn't say anything about her wanting to go to sleep. Maybe we didn't have to stop like I thought.

**No! I am actually very awake right now. I'm good for a while longer if you're up for it. -Ed**

_**I'm good! I am a night person. So if we aren't ending the conversation I guess that means it's your turn to ask the question. -Bells**_

I smiled and started to think about my next question. But there was only one that I really wanted to ask. I tried to not think about it. But it kept reappearing in my head. Finally giving up I asked it.

**Okay, so tell me about past boyfriends. -Ed**

I was surprised by the short response time.

_**There is nothing to tell. -Bells**_

I raised my eyebrows, was there really nothing to tell or did she just not want to tell me? I believed it to be the later.

**Really? Nothing to tell at all? -Ed**

I just couldn't believe that. Bella was beautiful, charming, loving, and so much more! Any guy that took a glance at her would want her.

VVVVvvvvvvv!

_**No, there really is nothing to tell. Never had a boyfriend. -Bells**_

**Seriously? No boyfriends? You've never wanted a boyfriend then? -Ed**

There was no way. Bella had never dated a boy before? It was a few minutes before I got my reply.

_**No, there have been a few guys I liked before, but they never showed any interest. But then again with Maddie always standing next to me, I can't really expect any different. -Bells**_

I sat staring at the text for a few minutes in unbelief before my mind could really wrap around what I was reading. Did she really have so little self worth? Did she really just think that the best she could do was stand in someone else shadow, always getting the sloppy seconds? How could she not see how truly amazing and beautiful she is? I didn't care who Maddie was or how awesome she was, Bella was amazing. I was just going to have to show her that.

**Hey Bella, what are you doing tomorrow night? -Ed**

Ideas flashed through my head and I tried to sort through them to find out what was something I could do to show her how I felt. How could I convey to her just how amazing I thought she was, without telling her. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that quite yet.

VVVVvvvv!

_**Nothing. Why? -Bells**_

I smiled to myself. Good.

**Well I was thinking…..**

Bella's POV

* * *

I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to read the last text message with a level head. It did not mean what my heart wanted it to.

**Well I was thinking that maybe we could hang out tomorrow night? The two of us. -Ed**

I knew he didn't mean a date. I knew that. But my head wouldn't tell the rest of my body. I couldn't let myself want to date Edward. I would be going back home soon anyhow. Though why Edward would even bother with trying to be my friend I didn't understand.

I looked back down at the text before deciding to just play it cool.

_**What? Can't wait until Wednesday to hang with me? -Bells**_

I leaned back further into my bed, trying to calm my heart that was beating out of rhythm. How did I lose control of my mind and heart so quickly? Why couldn't I seem to stop these feelings from building up inside me?

**Maybe. So how does 7:30 sound? -Ed**

Again I had to stop myself from reading too much into what he was saying, but it was so hard. Geez! Why couldn't I get a grip!

Growling slightly at my own stupidity I flung myself up into a sitting position and turned to lean against the wall my bed was pushed against. I shoved at the hair in my face, but when I did it just fell right back so I gave up. I knew how to fix my problem. Obviously I couldn't force my mind off him or shake these feeling that were getting greater by the day; but I could force myself not to see Edward. It seemed like the logical decision. …but even though it was the logical thing to do my heart screamed no at me. The thought of not seeing Edward, of not talking to him, working with him at the hospital, or hearing his laughter nearly brought me to tears. But it wasn't just not seeing Edward, it was also how I felt around him, the person I was when he was around. Even though that person wasn't the real me, it was the me I wanted to be.

I stared down at Edward's last text to me; I knew what I should do. I should reply back that I couldn't and then stop working at the hospital and try to get a job somewhere else. But every part of me wanted to do what I shouldn't; which is to say I would love to.

I leaned my head back on the wall and looked out the window next to me. It was almost a full moon and it's light shown down through the tree outside the window.

"What am I gonna do?" I whispered.

I looked back down at the text and hit the reply button. My phone gave me a blank texting screen and my fingers hung over the key pad. My heart and mind raged against each other.

Sucking in a deep breath I let me fingers type a reply before I shut my phone and looked back out of the window. What have I gotten myself into?

Edward's POV

_**I would love to! -Bells**_

I smiled widely and quickly texted Bella back and asked her what she wanted to do. We talked for a while about tomorrow night, which I decided to take Bella Put-Putting since she had never been before. After that we spent the rest of the night asking each other more questions. My questions got a little more ridicules as the night wore on and the sun started to rise. When I looked up again from my phone I was shocked to see that it was 7:30! I was supposed to be at Bella's in 30 minutes! Throwing the covers off myself I jumped out of bed and ran out of my room and down the hall into the bathroom. I quickly took a shower, leaning out of the tub twice to text Bella.

When I was done I wrapped a towel around my waist and rushed back to my room. I went to my closet and flipped through and found some nice dark jeans a dark green button up shirt that I thought didn't look bad together. After throwing on the clothes and attempting to tame my hair, key word attempting, I went down stairs and waved bye to Carlisle and Esme. Esme called after me, insisting that I need to eat before I leave, but I waved her off, promising to eat a big lunch. It wasn't until I got to my Volvo that I realized I had left me keys and wallet on the nightstand in my room.

Cursing to myself I sprinted back into the house, up the stairs, and into my room; snatched both items from the nightstand and ran back through the house and out the front door. I couldn't believe I had forgotten to grab my keys! The last time I did that…I've never forgotten to do that! Shaking my head I sped out of the driveway.

My phone vibrated when I was about two minutes from Bella's house.

_**Okay here we go, who is your favorite superhero? -Bells**_

I didn't text back but instead pushed the gas pedal down further. With a little extra speeding I somehow managed to make it to Bella's house on time. Taking a deep breath I hopped out my and walked up to Bella's front door.

**A/N Thank you for reading! Please please please review! I will put the next chapter up in a little while. :) **

**-Esmefan1-Elissa.**


	8. The notdate

Bella's POV

I don't ever remember picking out an outfit with more care. I don't remember ever really caring what I wore. I was more or less a geek back home and so I never really had any reason to dress up. I didn't have anyone I wanted to impress anyhow. …So did that mean I wanted to impress Edward now? No. I shook my head. No, I am a girl and girls like to get dressed up for no reason sometimes. That was it. Nothing more.

At least that was what I was trying to convince myself as I picked up a pare of fitted jeans, a green button up shirt with the buttons undone and a brown tank underneath it. Both of which Alice had forced me to buy. I was going to have to thank her one of these days. After I was dressed I finally thought of a question I hadn't asked Edward yet tonight. I walked to the bathroom and texted him at the same time.

_**Okay here we go, what is your favorite superhero? -Bells**_

It wasn't until I sent it that I really thought about last night. Edward and I had talked _all night._ Literally. Why would he want to talk to someone like me for that long? It didn't add up in my head.

Sighing I shook the question from my head for now; because I was afraid that if I asked Edward, he would realize he was wasting his time on a girl like me and would stop hanging out with me.

I brushed through my hair and pulled it back with a black headband. I was starting down the stairs when I heard a knock on the door. Heart skipping a beat I rushed down the stairs; which in Hines sight wasn't the best idea. I made it two steps before I tripped on a stair and fell. Luckily I was an expert faller so I landed on my shoulder. I groaning I got to my feet and took inventory. Nothing seemed too badly injured. The only thing that really hurt was my shoulder, I would probably have a nice bruise by tonight. Perfect.

Taking it a little slower I walked to the door, brushing back my hair, hoping it looked somewhat decent. I opened the door to see Edward leaning against the doorframe.

"Flash." Was all he said.

I was so caught up in how fantastic he looked that I barely heard him. "Huh?"

Edward smiled. "My answer to your last question. Flash."

"Oh right!" I said my brain trying to catch up. "Really? Flash?"

Edward nodded. "Yeah, I have always had this thing about going fast. I used to have dreams that I could move faster than a car. So when I heard about Flash, I was mesmerized." he said with a shrug.

I laughed a little and stepped back from the door to let him in. As he walked past I caught a good whiff of him; he smelled so _good!_ Seriously, was everything about this boy perfect?

"You look amazing by the way." Edward said turning back to me suddenly.

Our eyes met with that weird intensity again and I was lost in them. He thought I looked amazing? Edward took a step closer and if it were anyone else I would have felt a little uncomfortable, but I didn't. My breath caught in my chest, I couldn't blink, couldn't move. Edward brought his hand up slowly and carefully brushed his fingertips across my upper left cheek. The air between us seemed to disappear and the moment stretched on forever. There was so little actual skin contact, but even so a warmth spread through my entire face. Finally Edward blinked and brought his hand down.

Clearing his throat he nodded to me. "You had a hair in your face."

I blinked a couple of times, trying to clear my head. "Yes." Of course that's what he was doing. That made sense. There was an awkward silence, Edward was still standing close to me and I wasn't sure what to say.

Edward was the one who broke the silence. "So what about you? Who is your favorite superhero?"

I tried to get my brain to think, but it was still moving so sluggishly. My cheek was still warm from where Edward had touched it and I was afraid I might be blushing.

I mentally kicked my brain. "Uh, Batman." I finally got out.

Edward raised his eyebrows for me. "Really? He always seemed so dark and cynical to me. Why is he your favorite?"

Again I had to force my brain to think. "Because he didn't have any super powers. He proved that anyone can be a superhero. You don't have to be born with some unearthly power to be or do something great."

Edward looked at me thoughtfully for a moment before nodding. "That is a nice way of thinking about it." He continued to gaze at me and it wasn't until I mentioned the time that Edward stopped, heading for the door.

Edward open the house door for me as well as the car door. We rode to the hospital, listening and talking about music. Which turned out to be a very large subject because Edward was a huge music lover. We talked about music we hated and music we loved; which we agreed on most everything band and artist we discussed. The only artist that we absolutely disagreed on was Avril Lavean. He liked her and I didn't.

"All she ever does is talk about how boys suck!" I argued.

"Well can you blame her? 90% of the guys out there do suck!" He said.

"But that's all she sings about, I mean a couple songs about guys sucking is fine. But she does nothing else!"

"Yes but she does it well." He said with a grin.

I tried to point out that he himself was a guy and that he was being very sexist against his own sex. But all he said was that because he was a guy he could really say that they suck with 100% certainty.

In the end we decided to just agree to disagree.

When we reach the hospital, we walked in together and only parted ways when I had to go to the women locker room to put of my scrubs and Edward had to go to the men. As I changed out of my normal clothes I remembered Edward saying he thought I looked nice. My heart warmed at the idea.

When I came out of the locker room wearing a light pick pair of scrubs, Edward was waiting for me, leaning against the wall across from the door to the women's locker room. I couldn't help but pause to admire him. So casually leaning on the wall wearing his own pair of scrubs, which even though I thought it was an impossible thing to achieve, he looked amazing in.

We spent the day checking in on all the kids together. We went and saw Trevor, the kid who was brought in yesterday. He was doing a little better today. But since he had gotten here, he hasn't spoken a single word. Carlisle says that he is in shock and might not speak for quite some time. So when Edward and I went in there we asked all questions he could shake his head in response and even then he only answered part of the time. When we walked into Trevor's room my heart broke into a million pieces. Trevor, who was a small 6 year old boy to begin with was lying in a bed four times bigger than he was, making him look even smaller and was covered in bruises. He also had a cast on his left arm and stitches along the left side of his face.

I watched Edward while we were checking up of Trevor and my heart went out to the both of them. Even though I wasn't really positive what exactly happened to Edward, there was no mistaking the chemistry between him and Trevor. Edward understood what Trevor was going through.

And that thought sent a whole round of questions flying through my head.

What had happen to Edward in his childhood? Had he been beaten like this little boy? What had happen to Trevor? Was this the first time he had been beaten like this? He was covered in bruises, one of his eyes still swollen shut.

My eyes started to water up at the images that my mind thought up of Edward as a child and things that Trevor may have gone through. I imagined small little Edward covered in bruises and cuts, broken bones, black swollen eye...I quickly excused myself from the room and fled from the toy boys. I walked across the hallway as tears overflowed from my eyes, and leaned heavily against the wall. The tears slid down my face as I slid down the wall into a sitting position. I put my head on my knees to hide my face from the world, from a world where people beat innocent little children. Children who didn't have a fighting chance. Children like Trevor and Edward. Soon I was sobbing quietly. I tried to stop, but I couldn't manage it. Images of Edward kept coming to my head of a sad broken Edward and I just couldn't take it anymore.

It wasn't until I felt a pair of warm hands on my shoulders that I looked up.

Edward was kneeling down in front of me so that we were eye level. I wiped the tears from my face and looked at him in the eyes. "It happened to you too?" The way I said it sounded more of a statement then a question.

Edward sat beside me against the wall. He ran his hands through his hair before saying, "Yea. It happened to me too." He said it so quietly I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear or not. We were silent for a few moments, I couldn't say anything, I felt as if I had just had a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, his eyes telling me he understood.

I started to nod my head yes, but my emotions took over and I shook my head no and started to sob louder. Saying nothing at all Edward wrapped his arms around me. I leaned into him and buried my head into Edward's chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

How could the world be so cruel! How is there such evil as this? How can someone look at little Trevor's young face and then start pounding into it? The thought of Trevor lying on the floor, unconscious long before, yet still being beaten on made me cry even harder.

Soon I was blubbering out loud. "How can someone d-d-do that?" I sobbed. "How can someone scar a child like that? He can't even _talk!_" I practically yelled. "And you...How...Not you." I couldn't even get a sentence out, I was so upset at the world.

Edward, still not saying anything got to his feet and pulled me up along with him; he started leading down the hallway by the hand, but since I was still crying, I couldn't see where I was going and tripped over my own two feet. But Edward caught me effortlessly and put his arm around my waist so that he was supporting some of my weight. He pulled me into a empty room and sat me down on the couch.

Somewhere in the back of my head this scene freakishly familiar to another time, but I was too distraught to really remember.

Edward sat down with me and pulled me close. I leaned heavily on him and continued to cry. I knew I should be self conscious of blubbering all over Edward, but this was bigger than that. Someone was out in the world right now and could be hurting a another little boy!

"There is nothing else you can do for him." Edward whispered. "All we can do for him now is treat him kindly and show him that not everyone is evil. The scars will always be there, but we can help him try to heal."

I knew he was right. I nodded and took in several deep breaths. "Are we looking for him?" I managed to get out. "The person who did this?"

Edward rubbed his hand up and down my arm. "Charlie is going to meet with the boy later today; but because he isn't talking I'm not really sure what good it will do. After that, I don't really know what he will do. I know he talked with the teacher that brought him in yesterday."

I nodded. I was going to have to ask Charlie about it later. I sniffed and sat up a little; but Edward's arms didn't leave me. It took me a few minutes, but finally I was able to blink away the tears and was able to get my breathing under control. Taking in a deep breath I glanced at Edward who was watching me intently. "Sorry about that." I mumbled. Now that I had calmed down, I started to realize how ridicules I probably looked.

But Edward just shook at his head. "There is nothing to be sorry about. Sometimes it would just be inhuman not to break down at some of the things we see here. Nothing to be ashamed of."

I nodded. That made some sense. But even still I wiped my face on my shirt sleeve. Feeling completely drained I laid my head on Edward shoulder. Edward leaned back into the sofa, bringing me back with him and he rested his head on top of mine; I couldn't really make myself be bothered by it. My eyes slid shut and last night's lack of sleep slammed at me full force.

* * *

Edward's POV_

My pillow shifted under my head and readjusted to so that it was comfortable again.

"Edward?" I heard someone mumble. Who on earth was trying to wake me up! I tried to ignore the voice. "Edward wake up!" Again the voice said, more insistently.

I think I may have mumbled something as I opened my eyes. The second I did I realized I wasn't in my room in my bed. I was at the hospital! I looked down and sure enough there was Bella sitting next to me! Our eyes met and I felt a heat rise to my face.

"Did I just fall asleep?" I asked stupidly. Of course I fell asleep! Crap! What must Bella think of me?

She nodded. "I think we both did." She mumbled looking down at her hands.

I looked up at the clock hanging on the wall and saw that we had been asleep for a good hour. Dear goodness what if someone had walked in and saw us! What would they think? I didn't want to think anything bad about Bella.

"Hey I am really sorry." I said sitting up. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. I think last night really just hit me all of a sudden."

Bella nodded her head. "It's okay. I fell asleep too. I guess that's what we get for talking all night."

"Talking to you all night and getting to take the best nap of my life, I can think of worse things." I said. As soon as I said it I wished I hadn't. That was probably too much. Geez I was practically flirting with her! I needed to cool it.

But the shy smile I got in return was almost worth it. "So are we still good?" I asked hopefully.

Bella nodded. "Of course."

I couldn't help the relieved smile that spread across my face. "Then you ready to get back to work?" I asked stretching my arms over my head.

Bella hopped to her feet and replied that she was. She started for the door but I stopped her by putting a hand on her arm. She turned to me with raised eyebrow. "Are _you _okay?"

Bella just shrugged. "As okay as I can be I think."

I nodded in understanding and followed her out of the room; we began our rounds where we left off before our nap.

Throughout the rest of the day I tried to figure out how on earth I had managed to fall asleep with my arm around another person. I had issues hugging Esme, much less being comfortable enough to fall asleep with someone else. I found myself unable to keep myself from staring at Bella as we visited the rest of the patients, she didn't seem the least bit disturbed by what had happened, she just went about caring for the kids. I watched her as she walked, talked, and acted around everyone around her, most of whom were under the age 12 years old.

The way she acted with the kids warmed my heart. She would get down with them at eye level and make conversation with them, not shying away because they were whiter than a ghost or because most of their hair had fallen out. She gave them a sense of normalcy that most of these kids hardly remembered. She was truly something else. We ended up skipping lunch because of the work we had to make up for because of the time we were asleep.

I tried to get Bella to go eat while I did the make up stuff, but she had refused; saying that it was her fault and that she would help do the work. I complied, though I didn't think it particularly healthy to skip a meal, I wasn't going to force Bella to do something she didn't want to just because I thought it was what was best for her. Though I knew Esme was going to really let me have it when she found out that I skipped two meals in a row.

The day passed by quickly, they seemed to do that with Bella around. Soon I was driving Bella back to her house, promising to pick her up at 7:30.

After dropping her off I made my way home, where I had every intention to go right to my room and take a nap until it was time to go get Bella for our date tonight. No! Not date! For our…what was it? Get together? Either way, I was going to bed.

Or so I thought.

"Edward Cullen!" Alice called to me as I started climbing the stairs. I turned on the stair to her.

"Yes?" I asked tiredly.

"Where were you and Bella during lunch?" She asked in a huff, marching to the base of the stair well. "I waited for you, but you guys never showed?"

My brain scattered for a moment. Telling her I fell asleep with Bella was defiantly not an option. "We took a break before then that lasted longer than we thought and didn't have time for lunch after that." I said, glad I wasn't lying to my sister.

Alice raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my back on her. "It was nothing Alice." I said as I walked up the stairs. Thankfully Alice left it at that. But it wasn't nothing. It was defiantly something. I went straight to my room and fell down back first onto my bed. I closed my eyes, expecting sleep to come instantly, but all I could think about was Bella. I told her I had been abused! How on earth did she know to even ask that?

Then when she had started yelling about Trevor, I hadn't really thought about it, I had just known she wouldn't have wanted to let others see her like that, so I got her out of there. When she had tripped and fallen I caught her without even thinking about it. It broke my heart to see Bella so distraught. I remember the feel of her warmth all around me as I hugged her tightly, comforting her. How was it that I didn't feel uncomfortable being that close to her? When I had rested my head on top of hers I had gotten the wonderful smell of strawberries; the scent still rested in my nose.

I was thinking about that comforting scent when sleep finally claimed me.

Bella's POV

* * *

I watched as Edward drove away, leaving me on my doorstep, feeling strangely cold. As I stepped into the house all my brain could do was go over and over again of the day's events. The break down, Edward leading me to that room, us falling _asleep. _How that last one happened I have no idea.

Charlie wasn't home yet, probably working late, so I went to the couch and threw myself onto it. I wrapped my arms around myself, but it wasn't the same. I noticed it about an hour after the nap. When I had first woken up I had been really confused, then I noticed Edward beside me and his arms around me. I remembered feeling comfortable and warm and really having no desire to move. His scent was about me, his warmth seeping into my body, keeping nice and warm.

But ever since I had finally gotten the nerve to wake Edward up and we left the room I had this kind of cold feeling. I couldn't really explain it either. On the ride home I had asked Edward to turn the heater on, but it didn't help. I felt as though my body temperature had dropped ten degrees.

Reaching up I pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around myself; but it didn't help either.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, curling myself into a ball and snuggled into the couch. Maybe if I was lucky I could get some sleep before Edward came to pick me up later.

But I had no such luck; my brain wouldn't turn off. Even though my body was tired and my head was exhausted, sleep didn't come. Instead for the two hours that I was lying in the living room I thought more about all that had happened and Edward.

Finally 7 o'clock came and I decided to just start getting ready since it was obvious that I wasn't going to be getting any sleep. So rolling off the couch I headed up stairs to my room. I went to my closet and started rifling through to find something to wear. I had just pulled out a white mid thigh length skirt to inspect when I heard a car. Looking out the window I saw Charlies cruiser. I decided to go with the skirt and was looking for a top when Charlie called out.

"Hey Bella? You here?"

"I'm in my room! I'll be down in a minute." I called back, pulling out a purple blouse. Not really sure I put the skirt and shirt on and looked at myself in the full length mirror that was hanging on the inside of my closet door. The skirt was a little shorter than I normally wore, Alice had picked it out that day we went shopping and swore up and down that it wasn't bad at all. The top had a wide neck and had quarter length sleeves that had slits running the length of them so that they flowed very much. The shirt was loose except for the bottom two inches which had elastic inside it making it snug around my waist, just meeting the top of my skirt.

I turned this way and that, looking at myself from every angle.

"Bella? You coming?" Charlie called.

Figuring I didn't look completely hideous I headed down the stairs to find Charlie, who was in the living room. He looked up when I reached the last stepped and his mouth fell open a little.

"Charlie?" No response. "Dad you okay?"

Blinking twice Charlie smiled. "Bella you look very beautiful. Am I to assume that you dressed up just for your old man?"

I felt heat rise to my face and I quickly looked down at my feet. "I'm not dressing up for anyone. I just felt like wearing this today."

I knew exactly what look my father was giving me even without looking up. One eyebrow raised and a smirk. "So you're hanging out with me tonight then?" He asked.

I rolled my head around and looked at Charlie. "Uh, actually no." Charlie smiled triumphantly which annoyed me. "Edward and I are going Miniature Golfing. He is picking me up in," I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and checked the time. "5 minutes."

"Ah, so you're dressing up from him." Charlie said getting to his feet. "I guess that means I can order in pizza tonight." He said smiling widely.

I rolled my eyes at him. "No, I'm not. but sure, do whatever you want." Since I had gotten here he had been trying to eat more healthy for my sake; but I knew he loved eating junk food.

I headed back up the stairs, found the pair of purple flats that Alice had said I had to get for the shirt. Slipping them on I grabbed thirty bucks from my wallet and put it in my pocket. I was on my way back down the stairs when someone knocked on the door.

Suddenly the feeling of butterflies lit up my stomach. I took a deep breath, went to the door and opened it. Edward was standing there in blue jeans with a black button up shirt with all it's buttons undone and a fitted white shirt under it. My mouth went dry and I suddenly had no idea what to do with myself.

Slapping myself mentally I opened my mouth to say 'hey'; but nothing came out. Instead I was left looking like a moron with my mouth opening and closing without any words ever coming out.

"Good evening Bella, you look absolutely stunning!" He said looking me up and down. "But you didn't have to get all dressed up for me." He said with a charming smile.

Finally I got noise to come out of my mouth and laughed nervously. "Oh this? No, it was something I just threw on." I said, trying to get my voice back to it's normal pitch.

Edward just continued to smile. "Well you look fantastic."

I felt a smile ease onto my face and I knew I was blushing fiercely. "Thanks."

"Ready to go?" He asked.

I nodded and called back behind me at Charlie. "Hey dad I'm leaving."

"You guys have fun!" I heard him yell from the kitchen.

Edward walked me around to my door and made sure I was settled in before walking to his side and getting in.

"Port Angeles is the closest Mini-Golf place." Edward said pulling out of the driveway. "But they do have a really nice one and have a lot of decent places to eat if you want to grab a bite to eat after the game."

I nodded. "Sounds good." It really did! How did I get so lucky? I mean Edward was what every girl wanted in a guy, good looking as all get out, sweet, chivalrous, caring, and funny; but he chose to spend tonight with me. Why on earth would he do that? I know he said he wanted to be friends, but I thought that was just for at work. Why would he want to spend time with me he doesn't have to. He could be with any girl he wanted tonight. Why me?

Edward's POV

* * *

Oh good Poseidon. This girl was going to be the death of me! Her addicting scent filled my whole car and with every intake of breath I was drowned in it. It was like the perfect mix of flower scents. Like walking into a high end floral shop. But there was also a hint of strawberry thrown in to give it a little sweetness. It was the most wonderful smell! Not to mention she was sitting next to me looking so amazing I couldn't keep my eyes on the road. The skirt was modest but short at the same time and the purple she was wearing was a very good color for her.

As we drove the 45 minutes to Port Angeles I could hardly even make conversation because I had to focus so much on trying to watch the road.

"So are you any good at this?" Bella asked.

Taking in a deep breath of Bella's scent I replied. "Put-Putting? Oh pretty good. I usually win when I play, not to brag or anything."

Bella laughed lightly, a beautiful sound. "Uhuh, sure. Well just so you know I am not bad myself."

"Oh do we have ourselves a challenge?" I teased.

"I dunno; what do you think?" Bella said playfully.

I grinned. "Okay then, loser buys desert?"

I glanced to Bella and saw her eyebrow shoot up. "Why just desert? Why not dinner too?"

I shook my head. "Not that I am second guessing myself, but that won't work. Because as the gentleman I will pay for dinner, but since you are going to lose I guess I'll let you pay for the desert."

"Oh you don't have to pay for me!" Bella exclaimed. "I brought money, really you don't have to!"

But I shook my head. "When I man takes a woman out it his job to pay. You will not talk me out of this so please don't feel guilty or anything. I want to pay." It was also a way for me to show her how much I thought of her; but I didn't need to add that.

Bella looked like she might want to argue a bit more, but then she sighed. "Okay. Thank you." She said looking down at her folded hands.

I watched from the corner of my eye; it was amazing how this girl could go from one second to challenging me in a game of Mini-Golf to the next looking shyly down at her hands. It was like she had been shown all her life that she was only capable of achieving so much and she just had to live with it, but every now and then a little confidence would sprout up, to aspire to be more, but then would flee at a moments notice.

I wished I could help her feel more of that confidence that I had just saw a little blip of. She was so amazing, she shouldn't not know it.

The rest of the ride was spent talking of lighter topics and listening to music. When we reached Al's Mini-Golf it was 8:20, but there were only four other cars in the parking lot. It was usually slow on week nights and crowded on week ends. When I parked in the lot I jogged around the front of the car to Bella's door and opened it for her. She climbed out and looked up at the place. It wasn't the most flashy joints out there, but I wasn't going for flashy tonight.

I led Bella to the building where a young long haired kid was sitting on a stool behind the counter. We walked up to him, but he didn't even seem to notice me, his eyes were glued to Bella.

"Hey, how you doin?" The guy asked, leaning on the counter getting his sleazy face closer to Bella's.

I quickly pulled out a twenty dollar bill and set it, a little violently, on the counter top so that it made a bagging noise. The _boy_ blinked and looked towards me.

"Two playing." I said, doing my best to glare at the boy, without actually glaring at him. What was this guys problem? It was obvious that Bella was here with me! And anyone from the outside looking in would most likely make the mistake that we are on a date. But even knowing this the boy went ahead and tried to flirt with her!

The guy took the twenty, giving me a weird look as he did and gave me my change. As soon as the money was back in my pocket, I grabbed two putters and two different colored balls. Then I put my hand on Bella's lower back and led her out onto the course.

The whole course was alight with white Christmas lights. They were wrapped around many of the trees and bushes. Trees were everywhere, beautiful ones with long willowy branches and short ones covered in flowers. And white Christmas lights covered it all, there was no other source of light.

"Which would you like?" I asked Bella holding up the two putters.

She looked between the two, looking thoughtful before grabbing the one on the right. "This one looks good!"

I also let her pick which ball out of the ones I had grabbed. She picked the purple one.

We went to the first hole, a simple straight shot with a part of the turf in the middle raised in a bump.

"Ladies first." I said smiling.

Bella smiled back and bent down to set her ball on the mark spot. As she did this the bottom of her top slid up her back, revealing skin between her shirt and the skirt. My mouth went dry and my heart started beating a million miles a seconds. I tried to shake myself out of it, it was just a back! But who knew a back could look so sexy?

Bella stood up and her shirt went back down. Taking her stance she looked down at the hole then back at the ball and took her shot. The ball went, bounced off the back wall and ricocheted into the hole for a hole-in-one. I felt my eyebrows go up.

I tried clearing my throat, so that it wouldn't be so dry. "Nice shot." I commented.

Bella shrugged. "More luck than anything."

I was still thinking about her back when I put my own ball down. I tried concentrating on the ball and how I wanted it to bend, but it was hard. After a moments I decided to just hit the ball and pray for the best. I hit the ball, it ricocheted off the back wall and missed the hole by half an inch. Sighing I walked over to the ball and putted it easily the last two inches into the hole. I reached down and grabbed both Bella's and my own ball.

"Let it be known," Bella said coming up next to me and taking her ball from my hand. "that I was winning from the beginning." She said with a smirk.

Smiling I followed after her.

The next 10 holes went about the same as the first. Except hole 7 where Bella got a three. But besides that she got three more hole in ones and six two pointers. While I was at a steady two to three ratio. As we walked to hole 11 we passed a old gazebo that had Christmas lights intertwined with the green vines that had wrapped themselves around the posts holding up the roof.

"It's beautiful." Bella said, pausing in front of the white wood structure.

I watched her looking at the gazebo, lightly lighten and casting a warm glow onto Bella's face. It was the perfect picture. Thinking fast I quickly pulled out my phone from my pocket and snapped a quick photo, thankful that I had put my phone on silent earlier so it made no noise. I quietly slipped my phone back into my pocket before Bella turned back to me and we made our way to the next hole.

"Okay, I admit it, I am not very good at this game." I said staring down the 18th hole's coarse where I had just made a two pointer. "It just appears that everyone I usually play with stinks."

Bella who was standing off behind me giggled. "Aw now come one, you didn't stink." I looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. "You just really wanted to be the gentleman and pay for the desert as well as dinner."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, that was it. My chivalry got in the way of my game play."

Bella nodded. "Yep!"

"So you ready to get something to eat?" I asked as we made our way back to the building where we paid.

"Sure. You do owe me desert after all." She said with a giggle.

"Yes I do."

Taking Bella's putter and ball I quickly returned them to the guy behind the front desk; not giving the boy any opportunity to talk to Bella again.

Once we were back outside I slowed down our pace and ushered Bella to her side of the car. She started to get in, but lost her footing. Quickly I reached out and help steady her with a hand on the shoulder. Bella gave me a grateful look and got into the car, but I didn't move my hand away; I wanted to make sure she didn't stumble again.

Once she was seated I knew I was supposed to move my hand, but I found that I really didn't want to. Her skin was warm and soft to the touch. I stood there for a moment before I looked up and met Bella's gaze; then slowly I moved my hand down her shoulder blade and down to her elbow. I let my hand fall away from her arm and back down to my side. When I finally did my hand tingled; like little spurts of electricity going across my hand. I made my way to my side of the car, looking down at my hand. I flexed it a couple times before getting into the driver's seat trying to stop the feeling that was there.

"So where are we going to eat?" Bella asked while buckling herself in.

I shook away the feeling long enough to answer. "You can take your pick."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella shrug. "I have only been to Port Angeles a few times before, I don't really know what anything is."

I thought about it for a few moments, still ignoring my hand, before deciding. "Okay, I know just the place then."

We rode in silence the four minute ride to a busier part of town where there was a boardwalk that had shops and eating joints all up and down it. I parked in front of a small independent clothes store. "Would you mind a little walking?" I asked, turning to Bella.

She shook her head and we both got out of the car. There was a good deal of people walking the boardwalk, couples, a few skateboarders, and some bicyclist. We walked up onto the old wooden boarded walkway and started down it; walking so close our shoulders brushed a little. Bella was walking right next to the shop's windows while I walked on the other side of her to keep her away from the crowd. Normally I hated crowds because I would brush people as they past and would be reminded of my past. But this time I didn't mind it as much because being as crowded as it was I had to step even closer to Bella at times to let people pass. Each time I did this I got another whiff of her intoxicating scent.

"Hey Edward?" Bella spoke up once we had been walking for a few minutes.

"Yeah?"

"About earlier? About the falling asleep thing." Oh no. What? Was she upset at me? Was she mad that I had fallen asleep? I was the guy, I was supposed to keep things like that from happening. "It's not going to cause us to be weird around each other is it?" She stopped like she was done, but then rushed on before I could answer. "Because I really don't want it to! I enjoy spending time with you and I don't want something like that to ruin it." She said looking down at her feet.

I gently pulled Bella to a stop by the elbow, my hand started tingling again. "Isabella, I don't intend to let anything stop us from spending time together." I told her meeting her gaze evenly and I saw her eyes widen a little.

She kept looking in my eyes, as if searching for something. "Why are you here with me right now?" She asked. I could see some panic and almost a terrified look in her eyes; like a deer caught in the head lights.

I kept her gaze. "Because I want to be." I replied with all the sincerity I could. I knew how little self worth she had, but I wanted her to know that not everyone saw her the way she saw herself.

Bella blinked a few times, as if trying to keep tears away. "But why?" She asked in a half whisper. "You could be with anyone you wanted to tonight! Why me? Why not someone else?" She asked, making it sound like a plea.

Not having any control over my body I leaned in close and brushed my knuckles gently across Bella's cheek. "Because," I said softly. "if I went with anyone else I wouldn't be spending tonight with you."

Bella's POV

* * *

"But why?" I choked out. I had no control over my mouth or mind. I was being plagued with these questions. It didn't make any sense! "You could be with anyone you wanted tonight! Why me? Why not someone else?" Was it some practical joke? But even as I thought it I knew that wasn't it. Edward wasn't capable of doing something like that. But then what?

Suddenly Edward's face was leaning in towards mine, his dark green eyes shown brilliantly from the shop's lights behind me and his hand came up to brush against my cheek. I felt a warmth spread from that spot, just as it had the first time he had done it. Then when he spoke it was so soft. "Because if I went with anyone else I wouldn't be spending tonight with you."

I looked deep into his eyes, trying to see if there was any evidence there to tell me if there was anything but truth there.

But all I saw was a earnest heart. How? How could Edward want to spend time with me? It couldn't possibly last. He was going to get bored with me eventually. Maybe none of this was real. Was all this just some dream? I didn't even know anymore.

We stood there for some time; before Edward touched the tip of my nose playfully. "Ready to get something to eat?"

I choked on a laugh. "Sure." Edward took my hand and put it through his arm so our arms were interlocked. I may not know when Edward was going to get tired of me, or if this was all just some dream; but if this was a dream I hoped to stay asleep for a long time.

It only took a few minutes to reach the restaurant that Edward was taking me to, La Bella Italia. Edward held the door open for me and we were greeted by a pretty female hostess wearing black pants, vest, and a white shirt. We waited for about 7 minutes before the hostess took us to a booth. She lead us through the main room where there was a crowd and not a open table. The room was lit with low lighting and there was a bar off on one side of the room. We were led into another side room with more tables and booths where there were only a two other tables taken. She seated us in a far corner, handed us our menus and told us our server would be with us shortly.

Edward leaned on the table. "This is my favorite place to eat. Anytime Esme or Carlisle wants to go out and have a nice dinner I always suggest this place."

"So you're saying if I don't like this place I lose nifty points?" I asked picking up my menu. "Holy crow this place is expensive!"

"Hold up-"

"Edward I can't let you pay for me here!" I cut him off.

"I can win in that argument in a second; but more importantly did you just say 'nifty points'?" Edward asked with a wide smile.

I shrugged. "Yeah. Why?"

Edward laughed. "I have just never heard anyone say that before!" He laughed again. "Sorry, so what were you saying about the food?"

I was so caught up in his laugh that I had to scramble to think of what I had been trying to say. "Uh, oh! I can't let you pay for me here! It's too expensive!" I cried.

Edward just shook his head. "I told you already, you aren't going to change my mind on this. Get whatever you want and don't you dare look at the prices."

Sighing I looked back down at the menu, but everything that I looked at the price for each thing jumped off the page at me. I groaned and looked at Edward over the top of the menu. He looked over the top of his and met my eyes. Shrugging he set his menu down on the seat beside him, then reached over and snatched mine out of my hands.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I asked confused.

"Well if you can't see anything but prices then I will just have to read off all your choices for you." He said as if that were the natural thing to do. He looked down at the menu, lips pursed. "Well they have a wonderful area of salads with all the dressings you can think of, as well as a decent selection of soups. They have a sea food platter, though I would recommend not getting that if you don't like sea food."

I sniggered and kept on listening, expecting his to stop at any moment. But to my great surprise he kept all going, listing item after item, adding little tidbits about certain things he really enjoyed. Our waitress walked up in the middle of his reading and got our drink order. When she came back with our drinks, Edward was still reading off food. Finally, laughing as I did so, I said, "The mushroom ravioli!"

Edward looked up from the menu and smiled. "Excellent choice."

A few minutes later the waitress came by and Edward gave her our order, Edward getting the seafood platter.

"Gosh Edward, if this is how you treat all your lady friends I don't know how you keep them all off you." I remarked.

Edward tilted his head a little, giving me a smoldering look. "Are you saying you want to be all over me?"

"WHAT?" I spluttered, choking down my sweet tea; the heat rising rapidly to my face. "N-n-no! That wasn't what I was saying! I just meant.. That…" I searched for the right words, but I couldn't find them.

Edward laughed. "Calm down Bella, I was just teasing you."

Still feeling the heat hot on my cheeks I ducked my head down and looked at my hands that were clasped in my lap.

"You know," Edward said after a moment. "when you do that your hair falls down and covers your face so that no one can see it."

I felt a hand come under my chin and gently lift it up where I met Edward's eyes. "Which is a pity because you do it quite frequently and your face is so lovely."

Again the heat burned on my face and I knew I was blushing fiercely. My heart was pounding in my chest and I desperately wanted to duck my head back down, but Edward hadn't released me from his gaze. "Please don't." He asked.

I don't know how, but somehow he saw it on my face that I wasn't going to bend my head again and he dropped his hand from under my chin.

What was this boy doing to me! I tried taking in a few deep breaths to calm myself some, but I don't know how much it actually worked.

"So do you miss home?" Edward asked a few minutes later.

I opened my mouth to 'very much'; but I stopped myself and instead what came out was. "Some times." 'Sometimes'? Where did that come from? I was shocked to realize that it was true.

"So would you want to stay here if your mother would let you?" Edward asked.

"I can't." I said immediately. There was no way I couldn't not go back. I had to. I just had to. Right?

Edward looked a little taken aback, but nodded.

A moment later our waitress returned with our food. We ate and talked some more, but Edward didn't ask about my leaving again. Instead we stayed on lighter topics such as Jenny, more music and things like that. I laughed and had fun. Real fun. By the time we left the restaurant and started back to Forks I was very confused.

I could barely remember the last time I had fun, true, pure fun. Edward's question rolled around in my head the whole ride home. _"So would you want to stay here" _

I couldn't. I just couldn't. ….could I? No. I had to go back. Maddie was there.

But sitting next to Edward in his car listening to music, I felt at home.

The idea of staying in Forks for good followed me all the way home. When we reached Charlies house Edward opened the car door for me and walked me up to the front door.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening Bella." He said with a charming crooked smile. "I look forward to many more like it."

I felt myself smile. "Me too." I said softly.

"Sleep well Bella." And with that he turned, walked back to his car and left.

Feeling like I was on a cloud I walked into the house and leaned into the door to shut it. I still had a smile on when I walked into the living room where Charlie was sitting on the couch.

"How was your night?" He asked as I walked past.

I turned at the stair case. "It was fun." And with that I headed up the stairs.

_You could stay. _It's what everybody wanted. Mom and dad seemed to think it was the right thing to do. I could stay…

I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. It was almost a completely different person than I was used to seeing. I was wearing a smile, a pink tint covered my cheeks giving them a sort of soft glow.

I could stay.

Maddie.

The word hit me like a blow to the ribs and I doubled over, gasping for breath. Maddie. I couldn't stay! I had to go back! Maddie was there! I couldn't just leave her! Not again. My stomach began to churn and I felt a burning sensation there.

Breathing hard I stumbled over to the toilet and leaned over it. With barely any effort I threw up everything I had eaten with Edward in a matter of seconds.

No; I couldn't stay.


	9. Dots, dots, and more dots

**A/N Hey y'all! So, something happened when I uploaded the last two chapters, so if you had this story on alert, it probably didn't tell you. so before you read this, got back two chapters!**

Edward's POV

"Thank you for a wonderful evening Bella." I said with smile. "I look forward to many more like it." And I meant that. I now know that I like Bella as more than a friend. It killed me to not know if she felt the same, but I knew if we had more nights like this, she would slowly open up to me more. Little by little, her mask will come off.

Bella smiled as she said, "Me too."

I wanted so badly to hug her, or kiss her goodnight, which was a weird feeling for me; I have never thought to do that to anyone before. So, I simply said, "Sleep well Bella." and turned around and walked to my car.

I got in my car and sighed. What was going on with me? I never want to be close to anyone. Let alone actually touch them. All these emotions were so new to me, I couldn't comprehend what they all meant. In my confusion, I drove quickly to the one place I knew I could think clearly.

Home to my mom.

Once home I ran through the house and finally found Esme in Jasper's study. The study was wall to wall with books, much like a library. Jasper had all of his books in alphabetical order by Author, then by date. He never had a book out of place. Whenever I would sometimes borrow a book, he wouldn't even let me set in down; he would immediately take it from my hands and put it in it's correct place on the shelf. The room itself was beautiful. It had one mahogany desk set facing the door, close to the back wall and a black leather couch on the left wall.

Esme was standing behind the desk, reaching up to get a book on one of the top shelves, but she was just an inch short. I walked up behind her and took down the one she was reaching for; Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. Of course, it was one of her favorites, she has read it many times. When she and Carlisle first took me in when I was young, I had a hard time adjusting, I wasn't used to the adults in my life treating me with loving or wanting to have normal conversation with me. I didn't know how to speak to them, so I didn't. Except with Esme. I could remember her coming to my room every evening, sitting on the side of my bed and reading to me. For hours she would just sit and read. I would listen, I enjoyed it. Esme had a very soft voice. Then she would start talking about the book and her expressing her thoughts about it. She would ask me questions, that at first I didn't answer. But the third time she came and read to me, I answered her and so that is how I learned to talk again. This was the first book she had ever read to me.

"Oh, Edward, thank you." She said, patting my shoulder sweetly. As I handed her the book she looked at my face. "Edward? Oh, honey, what's wrong?" She asked, she must have seen the pain and confusion in my eyes. I walked over to the couch and sat down, Esme followed.

"Esme, I don't even know. I don't know what to think, what to feel anymore." She placed her hand on my back and I tried my hardest not to flinch.

"Is it Bella? Alice told me how you felt about her." She said softly.

"I don't know. Mom, why did those people have to do this to me? They completely messed me up!" I almost yelled, searching for the answer in mom's eyes. The anger inside me for the Tyson's rose up in me.

"Edward, _Wayne and Mary_", She said their names like it was poison, "they are messed up people. But, that's most likely because their parents were messed up too." Esme, always wanting to find the good in people, even when there isn't any.

"So it's a cycle? Do you think I could do something like that to my children? My wife?" I said. Surprisingly I thought of Bella when I said it. I was scared of what her answer may be. In my mind I saw myself yelling at Bella about something then slapping her across the face, braking her neck in the process. I shut my eyes tightly and shook the image away. I couldn't let myself do anything like that Bella!

"No, I don't. Edward, they had a choice. And so do you. Everyone has a choice. The son of a murderer doesn't mean he will become a murder. And the victim of abuse doesn't have to become the abuser." She said, the words almost sounding familiar. This was not the first time she had had to reassure me.

I sighed. "Esme, I really like Bella. But this is just all so confusing. Tonight, when I dropped her off," I paused. This was going to sound crazy. "I wanted to hug her." I looked down shaking my head. "I never want to hug people, except for you. And, even sometimes that is hard for me." She sighed and I could see the hurt on her face at my words. "Mom, it's just, because of them, I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around me." I said, and swallowed hard for what I was going to say next. "I'm constantly afraid." Never in my life have I ever admitted this to anyone but Esme; but even though she knew, it was hard to admit. Though she made it easy to talk to her.

Esme put her hand on my cheek and made me look at her. "Edward, you must change you're perspective. You are seeing the bad, when you must see the good. Yes, it's hard for you to trust people." She smiled lightly. "But, my dear, I can see it in you that you are trusting Bella. You are willing to spend time with her, to get to know her more. You are willing to be her friend. And you aren't afraid of that." She said knowingly.

I relaxed into a smile. She was right. I wasn't afraid to be Bella's friend. "Yeah, you're right." Leave it to mom to be able to make me realize something I should have already known. "Thanks Esme." I said giving her a hug. Every time I would give her a hug, I found it easier.

I was about to get up and leave when Esme asked. "Edward, would you like to read a little with me?" I smiled and nodded my head. She opened Pride and Prejudice to the first page, and began to read. _"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."_

I leaned back into the couch, closing my eyes and let Esme's voice float over me like a lullaby, taking me back to the past.

* * *

_"Esme, I don't know anymore. He's been through so much and he's only seven! I just don't know how we can get through to him." Carlisle said in the other room. I was sitting in the living room on a green couch, scared. Will these people be like the other adults? I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them._

_"Carlisle, we must do our best." Esme seemed really nice. but so did all the others at first. _

_Esme walked into the room. "Edward? Would you like to talk about it?" she asked as she sat by me. _

_Talk about it? About it-it? NO! Never. I just put my head down not saying anything. She sighed. Then she stood up and picked up a book from one of the bookshelves and then returned to her seat next to me. "Have you ever read the book Pride and Prejudice?" I didn't reply that I didn't. "No? Would you like me to read it to you?" She asked sweetly. I thought about it. Read a book? What does Prejudice mean? I thought about it for a moment longer; I nodded my head once quickly and she smiled. "Okay, let's see... '_It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.'"

* * *

After Esme and I had read some, I decided to work some more on my song. I walked into the piano room and sat at my piano. I started to play the chords that I had just been writing since I met Bella. The night after I met Bella I had sat down to play an old piece, but as I was playing, a different melody came to my fingers and I couldn't rest until I played the notes. I still hadn't perfected the rhythm though. I just couldn't seem to get it right. It was like something was missing. I just couldn't figure it out. I spent many hours here, at the piano trying to fix it. I worked on it now. The notes haunted me, trying to sort through my head into the perfect melody. I was so lost in my playing that I didn't realize what time it was until Rosalie came into the room and sat beside me. I looked up at the clock on the wall; 2:00am.

I knew she must have wanted to talk about something, because my family always left me alone when I played. It was like an unspoken rule. This was my time to think. To be alone. I stopped playing and turned to look at her.

"Please, do you think you could play Clair De Lune?" She asked, looking down at her hands that were in her lap, in a very un-Rosalie way. Clair De Lune was Rosalie's favorite.

I smiled and nodded my head as I started play the chords. "Is there something you wanted to talk about Rosalie? I would have expected you to be sleeping at a time like this."

"I could say the same for you. But yes, there is something I wanted to discus." She looked at my hands as I glided them over the keys. "Edward, you seem very happy lately."

I nodded my head. I suppose I was happy. Happier than I ever had been. As if mimicking my thoughts, Rosalie said, "Happier than I have ever seen you. I was talking to Alice and it seems that your happiness has something to do with a girl?" Alice. She really was into gossip. But at the same time, I knew I could trust her with all my secrets.

"Yeah. Bella Swan." I found myself saying without any reservation. It was amazing how easy it was to talk about her; when I can barely talk about myself with anyone. "She is...different than anyone else I have ever met." I couldn't really describe her. Bella was so many things. But I was more confused by this conversation though. "Rose, why the sudden interest in my life?" Rosalie and I had never had the best relationship in the world. It didn't make sense why she would start asking these questions.

" I don't really know Edward. I just…" Sighing and giving a shrug she continued. "I suppose I have felt out of tune with the family lately. No one really talks to me anymore, and when they do everyone is so careful with their words around me. And Emmett, oh I know he tries. But he can't talk about it without wanting to hunt them down and kill them." Another pause. She looked up from my hands and looked me in the eyes. I saw a need and pain there. "But I do need to talk about it." She said, her voice cracking a little. She cleared her throat before continuing. "And I just feel that you would be the best person for me to talk about it with."

I hesitated in playing, but continued. Me? "Me? What about Esme? Or Alice?" Any girl in the world please, but not me! I could see how this could take a very awkward turn...

"I can't talk to them about it. You are the only one who doesn't try to comfort me, or get angry. You just, " She shrugged again. "well you act like you always do."

I guess I could see her point. But still, me?

"Well, go ahead and talk." The sooner we get through this the better.

"Well, has Chief Swan found out anything? Did he catch them?" I sighed as I ended the song. "No, he hasn't caught them. He believes it was a group of men just passing through. He doesn't think it was anyone here, sense your description of them doesn't match anyone in town." I told her, wishing I had a different answer.

She sighed. "Okay. So I guess that pretty much means he has given up searching." She said biting on her bottom lip.

I nodded my head. There was only so much Charlie could do. "I'm sorry." I whispered. It did get me angry; what happened to her. I remembered it like it was yesterday. I remembered Rose walking into the hospital and collapsing onto the floor just outside Carlisle's office. When we got to her, she couldn't even speak; just cry. Carlisle had examined her and it was only after we got her home that she told us how she had been walking through town and a group of men had cornered her on a lonely street. I remembered how the second the word 'raped' had left her mouth, all I could see was red.

Emmett then went crazy. He actually punched a whole in the wall in all his frustration. I can remember Jasper and I having to hold him down to keep him from hurtling through the house and into town to find these guys. It was only when Rosalie had told him that she had needed him that he stopped struggling to leave. She had sounded so broken. I truly believed that if Emmett ever came in contact with the men, he would kill them. And I would without a doubt help. You don't mess with my family. Now, Rosalie barely left the house because the whole town knew. That was one problem with such a small town; word gets around.

"I'll let you get back to your new song. By the way, it sounds beautiful."

I shook my head. "It's missing something."

Rosalie smiled. "Of course it is. That's not one of you usual songs, Edward. It's missing lyrics."

I smiled. She was right. That was it! "Do you think you could help me with that?" I asked. She smiled and nodded. Rosalie was a lot of things, and one of them was an amazing singer and lyricist.

* * *

Bella's POV

"Isabella." My father said while rubbing his eyes with his palms. Charlie walked into the bathroom while I was throwing up. I don't know what I had been thinking. Actually, I don't think I was thinking at all. I let my guilt over power me. "I thought- I thought you were getting better." He said as he paced in the living room. "Have you been taking your medicine?"

"Of course I have. Dad, I'm sorry." I said from the couch I was sitting on. I knew how much he and mom worried over me. I wanted to get better for them, but every time I start thinking I was getting better...I would fail.

"Okay. Well, I guess there really isn't much more we can talk about now. I mean, I can tell you again how serious this is, and how much this is hurting you, and how much I really, really, don't want to send you back to a treatment center." Then he knelt on the floor in front of me and looked me in the eyes. "But, honey, if I think it could help you I would send you back. And I know how much you hate it there." I really did hate it there. I felt like all the nurses either looked at me with pity, or as if I had done a horrific thing. "But I just don't know what to do anymore." He said looking at me hopelessly. "Just tell me what I am supposed to do! How am I supposed to fix this?" He asked me desperately.

I felt the tears starting, but I blinked them away. "You can't fix it dad." I said softly. I wished I could give him the answer. I wish there were some magical way to make this go away. But there wasn't.

I patted my dad on the shoulder once before heading up the stairs and to my room.

I had mixed feelings as I laid down waiting for sleep to over take me. Guilt, joy, pain, happiness. I felt so happy after my time with Edward. I felt happy every time I was with him. But then, I would always feel guilty about Maddie. I can't quite explain it.

When Maddie died, I went through the normal process you know? The 5 stages of grief; Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I went through the stages normally. At first, I wouldn't believe she was really dead, even though I had seen her lifeless body. Then anger; I got so angry at the man who did it to her, and also at myself. Then Bargaining; I kept begging God for just a little more time. Or, to take me instead. Then depression, which for me, made me bulimic. My only problem was, I never got to acceptance. I was stuck at depression, and I had no idea how to move on.

And now I'm stuck at being depressed, and feeling guilty if I start to feel happy. Maddie couldn't be happy anymore, why should I?

I ended up getting about three hours of sleep, and with not getting sleep the night before, I was really starting to feel sleep-deprived. Charlie took me to work because Edward called and said he was running late and he would just have to meet me at the hospital. When I got there, I had to wait for Edward so I ended up talking to one of the nurse who worked behind the counter.

"Bella, Good morning." She said smiling at me.

"Good morning, Janet. How's your day so far?" I asked leaning on the counter with my elbows. Janet was a very nice lady. She was about in her 40's with her gray just starting to show in her brown, curly hair.

"It's been good so far. How about yours? I've noticed you didn't show up with the Doctor's son this morning." She said with a sweet smile on her lips.

I smiled as I thought of Edward. "Yes, apparently Edward was running late this morning." Janet raised an eyebrow at that.

"Edward Mason? Running late? You must be keeping him up all night! Edward is never late to work." She said with a wide smile. Mason? I had never thought of it, but it did make since. I had just assumed that because Edward was adopted that he would have taken the great Doctors name, but I suppose he hadn't. But I didn't have time to think about that, while I was trying to figure out what she could possibly be talking about.

"Me? Keeping him up? Why would you say that?" I asked very confused by her statement.

"You must know what you do to the boy. Why, I'd say he is head over heels for you!" She said chuckling. What? No, Edward didn't like me like that. He couldn't...Could he? Ugh, it's times like these that I miss Maddie all the more.

"You must be mistaken Janet. He must have been running late for some other reason. He doesn't feel that way about me." I said, sure enough blushing.

"Bella, the past two years that he has worked here, Edward has never been late. Not until you showed up." She said smiling. The phone rang then, and she excused herself and answered the phone. Did Edward really like me? Could I like him? And, would it be so bad if I liked him? He made me happy. But, did I deserve to be happy?

Just then, Edward showed up out of nowhere. He mimicked my position. "Hello." Edward said to me with a wide smile spreading on his face.

My heart fluttered. I smiled back at him before I even realized I had. "Hello." I said back to him. "Sorry I'm late. I accidentally slept in." He said with a crooked grin. Janet hung up the phone and smiled at us.

"Good morning Edward."

"Good morning, Janet. How are you this morning?" Edward asked her.

"Oh, I'm doing fine. And I am sure you are doing great." She said with a sly look on her face. I blushed even more when she said that.

Edward simply chuckled. "Yes, I am. Now if you will excuse us, Bella and I should be getting to work." Edward said stepping away from the counter. I did as he, and said a quiet goodbye to Janet.

The day was going by as normal but I felt weird the whole day. I couldn't stop thinking about what Janet had said. Did Edward really like me? And, If he did, what did that mean to me? It's not like I like Edward. Right?

On our way to see Trevor, I had to ask Edward, "Edward, is your last name Cullen?"

He shook his head as he said "No, it's Mason."

"But, you've been with them for so long, why haven't you changed it?" My curiosity was getting the better of me.

"Well, it's all I have left from my parents. I just could never seem to part with it." He said with a sad smile.

I immediately felt guilty for asking such a personal question. "I'm sorry for intruding." I apologized.

"No, Bella don't. You can ask me anything. Don't feel bad about that. I don't mind. I want you to know these things. I really do." He seemed so sincere.

"But why would you want me to know?" I asked puzzled.

"Because, Bella, I like you. I want you to be my friend, and friends don't keep secrets, they make them." With a crooked smile.

My heart fluttered when he said that, though I didn't know why. Just because he said he liked me, what did that matter? He obviously meant it in a different way then what Janet had been suggesting. he obviously liked me as a friend. Nothing more. But still, I couldn't figure out why this bothered me so.

"So, we're friends right?" I asked him. He smiled at me as he said, "Of course."

"Then, what secrets have we made?" I couldn't help asking him. He seemed to think about this seriously. "I'm not sure. Maybe we should make one now. I'll tell you a secret, I haven't told any one, and you tell me one." I agreed hesitantly and waiting for his secret as I thought of my own.

He chuckled to himself as he said, "I once gave a prostitute a ride." He burst into laughter as he saw the shock on my face. He quickly pulled himself together to explain. "I didn't know she was. I was in Seattle and she said she needed a ride. Carlisle taught me to always help, especially a lady. It wasn't until I started driving and she asked me what I wanted to do, did I realize. I then simply drove her to where she needed to go, and then went home. I never told anyone." I couldn't help laughing.

"Really, Edward?" I said laughing. "I was 16! I didn't know better! Now, I believe it is your turn." He said getting the attention away from him.

"Well, Maddie once dared me to steal nail polish from a store. I did. But, I only went an hour before I went back to the store to pay for it." He laughed as he said, "Wow. Who knew Bella had a bit of a bad side? Well, not too bad. Only about an hour worth of badness to you!" Edward and I continued to joke around until we reached Trevor's hospital room.

Charlie had gone to see Trevor when he had dropped me off for work, but he still wasn't talking to anyone. Well, not until Edward and I showed up.

Edward pulled a chair up to him. "Trevor, you know, you can talk to us. We are here to help." He said sweetly, talking in a calming tone. I didn't know what it felt like to go through what Trevor went through, but if I was going to open up to anyone, it would be Edward.

To my surprise Trevor used his hand to motion for Edward to come closer to him. Edward leaned in, and Trevor cupped his hand around Edward's ear and whispered in. I didn't hear what he said, but from the look on Edwards face, it wasn't anything good.

* * *

Edward's POV

Trevor motioned for me to come closer so I leaned in. He cupped his hands around my ears and whispered, "He will hurt me if I talk." Then he moved away. He looked down in his lap and I could see the tears start to build up.

"Trevor, he can't hurt you here." I tried to reassure him, but I knew that it meant nothing. Even still to this day, I was afraid of the Tyson's even though I was much bigger and stronger than them now. I thought about what to do, to make him open up. Then I remembered last night with Esme. "Trevor, how would you like me to read you a book?" I asked him. He seemed to think about it for a moment then nodded his head quickly. I reached into my bag that I had brought with me. I pulled out the book Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss. As I began to read, I could tell Trevor was relaxing. "On the fifteenth of May, in the jungle of Nool, In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool, He was splashing…enjoying the jungle's great joys…When Horton the elephant heard a small noise." I saw his eyes widen. He scooted closer to me so he could see the pictures.

Every so often as I was reading, I would see Bella smiling at us. And every time she caught me looking at her she would blush. I wondered if she knew just how often she blushes.

Trevor seemed to like the book very much. When I was done reading it, he asked if he could keep it. I knew he most likely couldn't read, seeing how he was only 6, but I was sure he would enjoyed the pictures.

From what we found out from Chief Swan, it looks as though Trevor's Uncle Johnathan was not a very good uncle. Johnathan was Trevor's mother's brother. Trevor's parents had died in a car accident earlier this year, and Trevor was sent to live with his uncle. but it seemed as though Johnathan thought his sister's death was somehow Trevor's fault. So he punished him.

I didn't want to think about it too much, because it would only anger me. So instead, I kept my thoughts on Bella. I thought of how beautiful she looked in the light blue shirt she was wearing. And, as much as I tried, I couldn't keep some thought out of my head. Ones like how amazing she looked in the tight dark jeans she was wearing...No! I wasn't raised to think things like that. I was raise a gentleman. But still, I had a hard time thinking differently. I don't usually blush, but when she bent over to pick something up off the floor, and it took all of my will power to turn my head away from her.

What can I say? I'm only human. A human male for that matter. But, nonetheless, I still felt guilty. But it did make me wonder, did Bella ever think of me in the same was I think of her? Did she find me attractive in any way? And then the more pressing question came to my mind, as it often did. Does Bella like me? I just couldn't escape that nagging question.

"Eddie!" Emmett roared loudly as we entered the hospital cafeteria. I glared at him. Bella and I made our way to Alice and Emmett as they were in line for food. The food here was actually nice. "Emmett, you know I hate it when you call me that." I snapped at him.

He only laughed. "Hey Bella! Still hanging around our Eddie boy here-OW!" I smacked him upside the head. to my surprise, Bella laughed.

"Emmett," She began, "you should really consider shutting your mouth before you get a concussion."

Alice giggled as she grabbed her tray. "Bella, you are so funny! We are going to be great friends!" Alice was always so enthusiastic. Bella chuckled. "I bet we will." As we got our food, I noticed Bella had grabbed an orange, and only an orange. As we sat at our table I said, "Bella, you must need to eat more than that."

"No, I'm not really hungry right now." She said looking at the orange that she rolled in her hands. "Not hungry?" Emmett said, "What does that even mean?" We all laughed at his serious expression. Emmett was always hungry.

Bella's laugh was so beautiful. Her voice was amazing. Heck, she was amazing! I think I'm starting to like Bella more than I should...

* * *

Bella's POV

I started to get nervous when Edward talked about my lunch. But I wasn't hungry. Or, at least I didn't want to be. I didn't deserve to be hungry. But what I found scared me; my laughs were genuine. I was happy. I don't remember the last time I was happy...

The day went along normally. I found that I was anxious for the end of the day. I knew I was going to Edward's house this evening. I was excited, but scared at the same time.

Charlie came by the hospital around 4 to talk to Carlisle about Trevor. Carlisle had done another check up on Trevor and they discussed it. A lady from Child Protective Services showed up around the same time for Trevor. I was glad and relieved that he wouldn't be going back to his uncle. But I was scared for him. I wanted him to be safe. He has gone through so much in this year alone. It was fair. He deserved better. I was really starting to hate this world.

Charlie took me home at 5. I would be driving over to Edwards house at 7:30. I ate some dinner; spaghetti. Charlie noticed my excitement right away, but he didn't say anything about it. I still wasn't sure why I was so excited about spending time with Edward. But I decided I didn't care why. All I know, is I haven't felt this way in years and I really liked this feeling.

I took a shower and surprised myself when I grabbed the curling iron and curled my hair. I never do that. I blamed it on feeling girly today. That must be it. I kept the jeans on that I had been wearing all day, but I changed my top. It was sleeveless and tight on my chest, but loose everywhere else. It was blue with purple flowers on it. Alice got it for me when we went shopping. I again surprised myself when I found myself wanting to put make up on. I couldn't remember the last time I had done the tedious work of putting make up on. But even still, I felt like wearing it. It took me a few minutes to find where I had put my cosmetics bag, shoved under my bed. Then I pulled some mascara and lip gloss out of the small bag. I pulled half my curly hair up and pined it back with some bobby-pins. A few loose strains framed my face. Grabbing the silver chain from the bathroom counter I put my friendship necklace back on; the small blue butterfly landing right above the deep V in my top. I also put on some blue bangles.

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Alice would be proud, I thought to myself. I got up and grabbed my purple purse, slipped on my blue flates and went down stairs.

"Whoa whoa whoa." Charlie said when he saw me. "There's a guy, isn't there?" He tried to act like he didn't approve, but the smile on his face gave him away.

I didn't know what to say to that. So I said what my heart wanted to say. "Yeah." I said, surprised that it was true. "I think. Anyway, I won't be out late. I'm going to go to Edward's house for a little bit." His smile grew large as I spoke.

"Stay out as long as you want Bells." He said, still smiling widely

I smiled at that. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked to his cruiser. As much as I didn't want to drive it, I didn't have another choice. People tend to notice a police car more than any other car. I didn't' like the attention.

I was surprisingly giddy the whole way there. I had to slow down, knowing that the turn to their house was coming. I had almost missed it, but I saw it just in time. I parked in the driveway. I pulled down the visor and opened the small mirror and looked at myself. Really Bella, it's just Edward. I thought to myself. But, It wasn't just Edward. It was Edward. the boy I liked...Suddenly my heart started going crazy. I...Liked him? Yes! Of course, why didn't I realize before?

In the back of my head the guilt started to come, but I pushed it aside. Nothing would ruin this night for me.

I walked up to the door and knocked. A second later, Alice opened the door and screamed. "Bella! You look amazing! I'm so proud!" I laughed as she gave me a big hug. I hugged her back. "Thanks Alice." I said blushing. I walked in the house, to see Edward coming down the stairs. "Now, don't you go scaring her off Alice." Edward said. As soon as we looked at each other, the world seemed to stop. My heart went crazy then it just stopped.

Edward looked like he would die, because he was clearly not breathing. "Edward, remember, breath." Alice said as she passed him on the stairs.

"Bella." he whispered my name. The sound of my name coming from him was enough for me to go crazy. He walked over to me, and came incredibly close. The scent coming off him was intoxicating.

"You know, you look lovely tonight, but I think your look pretty without any make up on." He was going to be the death of me.

I smiled goofily up at him. "Hello." I said not being able to think of anything else to say.

"Hello." He said back smiling the crooked smile I loved so much.

"Well, I suppose we have some counting to do." I said hoping he would take a step back a little so I could catch my breath, but at the same time not wanting him to move away from me.

He smiled."I guess we do." Then he reached out and grabbed my hand in his, intertwining our fingers, and lead the way to his bedroom. I don't think anything in the world could make the smile on my face go away now. Not even the memories of Maddie that threatened to resurface. I was going to be happy tonight, no matter what. When we reached his room he let go of my hand and sat on his bed.

I stood in the middle of his room looking around. This was first time I had ever been in Edward's room; but I wasn't surprise by what I saw. The room had a warm creamed colored carpet and white walls. One wall had a huge stereo system with rows and rows of CD's lining the whole wall. On another wall was his bed, it looked to be a king size bed with a dark blue comforter and about five pillows leaning up against the black head board. There was a small black table next to his bed with a lamp on it and a black leather chair in the corner.

"So is it everything you expected?" Edward asked after a minute.

I raised my eyebrow. "Is what?"

"My room."

"Oh, well I don't know what I was expecting, but if I was expecting anything, this would be it." I said, walking over to sit next to Edward on the bed.

"So you approve then?" He asked looking me in the eyes uncertainly.

Not sure why he would look at me like that I nodded. "Yeah, it's very you."

Edward smiled, taking my breath away. It wasn't until I took in a shaky breath that it really hit me that I was in Edward's room, alone with Edward. The thought was exhilarating and scary at the same time.

"So should we get started?" Edward asked.

I nodded.

Edward laid back on the bed and reached around me to the side table to grab something. While he stretched to get whatever he was trying to, his shirt lifted, making a gap between the hem of his shirt and the top of his jeans about an inch apart. I could see the tan fabric belt he was wearing, but my eyes found his exposed mid section and my brain stopped. I knew he was in shape, but the clothes he wore didn't do him justice! His stomach was perfectly toned, with just the right amount of muscle to make my mouth water. My fingers itched to reach over and rip-

Then he sat up. "So I thought we could do this practically. I got these-" Edward paused and grabbed my hand, his fingers feeling oddly cool. "Bella are you okay?" He asked in a panicked voice. "You are burning up!"

I finally manage to draw in a breath. I scrambled to understand what Edward had just asked me. "Huh? Wha-" My heart was hammering against my chest and I couldn't get the image of Edward's waist out of my head.

"Are you okay?" He asked again; this time making a little more sense to my scrambled brain.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Just a little warm." I tried to take in a deep breath, but it was pretty shaky. Edward was giving me a concerned look and I desperately tried to think of a way to get the attention off me. "So what were you saying about counting the dots?"

Edward gave me one last look before showing me what was in his left hand. Two makers. "I thought we could use these to mark the dots as we count them. You know, so we don't miss one or count the same one twice or something." He said with a small smile.

I nodded. "That is very smart." I said, hoping my voice sounded normal again.

He nodded along with me. "Well I do try." He said shyly. "Are you sure you alright thought?"

"Perfect." I said honestly. I grabbed the blue sharpie from Edward's hand and got to my feet. "Now lets get started. This is going to take forever as it is."

Edward smiled and got to his feet on top of his bed. He reached a hand down and helped me onto the bed. He held my hand 5 and a half seconds longer than necessary before letting go and reaching up and marking the first dot with a green sharpie.

For the next four hours Edward and I walked around on his bed, moving from end to the other, marking every dot we could reach, before hopping down off the bed and moving it so that we could reach more dots. Every hundred we would write down how many we had counted on a sheet of paper so that we wouldn't lose count.

I was so surprised at how much thought Edward had put into this. I had half thought that we wouldn't actually be doing this. I thought we might start, but then kinda give up. But I should have known that Edward was better than that.

We took a couple of breaks, to give our arms a rest from reaching up over our heads constantly. During these breaks I would look through Edward's CD collection and pick what CD we would listen to next or we would just lie down on the bed and add up all the dots we had counted so far.

After about four hours we were nearly done, with only a little space left. Both Edward and I were standing near the edge of the bed, trying to finish up. I reached out a little to mark one farther away, but when I did the bed shifted underneath me and I started to fall forward off the bed. I gave a little shriek before a strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me backwards. I landed, not very gracefully, half on top of Edward onto the bed.

I shoved some hair out of my face and saw Edward staring at me. I stared back for a few minutes before we both simultaneously started laughing. It was such a carefree feeling I could have started crying. But I had cried enough over the past 2 years, I didn't want to cry anymore.

"Want to change the CD? This one has played through twice now." Edward asked after a minute, once we had stopped laughing.

I looked towards the stereo then back to Edward. "You know I would, but that would mean me having to get up and I just don't know if I feel like moving. It would just take way too much effort." I said with a dramatic sigh.

Edward laughed, his beautiful laugh and got up. "Okay I'll do it then." He said walking over the stereo. "But that means I get to pick the next CD."

I watched Edward's back while he stood in front of his wall of CD's, one arm folded across his chest, the over hand rubbing his chin as he thought. He finally decided on one on a middle shelf and slipped the CD into the CD player. Once the music started playing he turned back to me and sat down next to me.

My breath hitched in my throat when Edward leaned down over me, stopping a few inches away from my face. He gently slid his knuckles across my right cheek bone, his eyes locked on mine.

Good googly-boogly I liked him!

"So shall we finish up our counting?" He asked softly.

Not sure that I would actually be able to speak I just nodded. Edward sat back up and I sucked in a deep breath. If I was going to be spending all this time around him, I was really going to have to learn to breathe when we were together.

Edward stepped onto the bed and held a hand to help me get to my feet. He pulled me to my feet gently and wrapped a arm around me to help me find my balance. It amazed me how natural it felt to have these small touches with Edward. It felt as normal as my right hand being at the end of my right arm.

It only took us another 10ish minutes to finish up the last of dots. When we had finished we laid back on the bed to look at our handy work.

"Wow." Was all I could say. Edward's once white ceiling was now covered in green and blue dots.

"Yeah. You know if you look at it this way it kinda looks like a map." Edward said, turning his head sideways.

I followed his motion. "You're right!" I said with a laugh. "That almost looks like the United States."

We admired the ceiling for another few minutes before I asked Edward what the final tally was. He took the sheet of paper and did the math. "2,004,518." He said with raised eyebrows.

"Really? I asked. "That is a lot more that I thought it would be!"

Edward looked over at me and smiled. "Thank you for doing this with me."

I smiled back, trying my hardest not to blush. "Thank you for asking."

Edward's green eyes seemed to bore into mine and I felt my heart burst into a sprint.

How was it this boy could make me so happy just by smiling in my direction?

I sighed. I don't really care, I decided. I was just going to enjoy it as long as I possibly could.

I liked Edward. He made me happy. Really happy.

That is all there is to it.

**A/N Hey! I hope y'all like it! Our Betta and I have worked really hard on this! This chapter, and the past two, were actually one really long chapter. So, we decided to split it into three. Please review! Tell me what you think, or if you have any questions for me. Thank you guys for reading! **

**-Esmefan1-Elissa**


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